I see that Dagblog is getting a diverse group of new voices via Readers Blogs. As a regular  contributor, I'd like to say hi and tell you a little about myself:

1) My name is William K. Wolfrum

2) DagBlog is my bitch.

Now on the first one, you can give me endearing nicknames if you wish, like "Wolfie," or "WKW," or "Mr. Wolfrum." It's, of course, best not to address me at all, but we\ll get to that later.

On the second issue, we really have to look into the past. Because I believe once you look into the past, you'll see I'm far, far too good to be posting here, of all places.

My story truly begins 22 years ago, when a then-naive 18-year-old boy went to Alaska. I was 21 at the time the boy left, and sitting in the plane next to him. It was at 21 that I arrived in Alaska, and in the years since, so much has happened. And so little of it is your business, actually.

Just know that in the interim between now and 1988, I have gone to Alaska, done a bunch of other things, then showed up here at Dagblog. So I guess looking at my past doesn't really help. No matter.

Now, let's list the rules on how I should be dealt with:

1. Never make eye-contact with me.
2. Do not speak to me.
3. Do not threaten me.
4. Don't e-mail me.
5. Before writing a blog post, look back through everything I have ever written. If I previously covered the subject, drop it. Trust me, I did it way better.

I think you'll see the trend. Please note, this is not out of rudeness. But how many other A-Level, big-shot bloggers give you any of their time? I see no reason to buck this trend.

I know a lot of you from the time I spent at TPM Cafe. You may notice I was polite and approachable. Well, this isn't the Cafe anymore. Here at Dagblog, my role is that of the narcissistic, loner, moody hyper-genius. And that means I just don't have the time to say "thank you," every time one of you calls my work "brilliant."

There are positives. First, you can tell everyone you work with at the same blog as William K. Wolfrum. That's like 10,000 Extra Internet Bonus Bucks for you right there. Lest you forget, I'm a really important Internet person. I was the one who uncovered Martin Eisenstadt, as reported by the New York Times, after all.

Also a positive for you new writers is that I am no authority figure. I could care less what you do here. Post nothing but videos of amputee porn and say it's a metaphor for the American economy. Like I care. Sure, Genghis will, but I'll be cool with it.

Now, really, I understand many may feel put off by my confidence, ability and notoriety. Here's the thing: Deal. Sure it would be in better for me to be self-deprecating here with a little laugh and a "Oh, I'm no. Hemingway," joke, but the fact is, as far as this joint goes - I. AM. HEMINGWAY.

Also, please note that about half my blog posts are dedicated to myself. I'm like a rapper that way. Half my releases are about myself and how much bling I got. Plus, trust me, if you were me, you'd be writing about me, as well.

So that's about it. Once again, I'm very excited you're all here, provided you understand the basic "Stay away from Wolfrum" philosophy we employ.

Please feel free to introduce yourself in comments. I do occasionally read the comment section, though I doubt I'll respond and there's no chance in hell I'll remember your name or your work. I'll do my best to recognize your general existence. And let's face it, that's a hell of a lot better than you'll get from most A-Listers.

Now, if you don't mind, I'll be busy the rest of the day trying to get Atrios to return my phone calls.

--WKW