Cardwell: Can Moderate Republicans survive 2016?
PeraclesPlease: Campaign Thoughts, Pt. 1
Maiello: This Dumb Election
THE RAPE OF THE SABINE WOMEN
To pick up where I left off on last Monday's "history" post, Romulus, descendant of the Alban King Numitor, was the founder and first king of Rome. Initially a tiny settlement on the banks of the Tiber, Rome grew and prospered under Romulus' leadership. Most of the tribe was made up of men fleeing from other tribes: refugees, escaped slaves or prisoners, or anyone looking for a better life. These men were often powerful warriors, thus Rome's strength was guaranteed...at least for that generation.
Romulus Sanctorum addressed the crowd of repubs in the great arena.
We must find a new source of repubs or we shall perish.
Where are we to find these new repubs in this day and age of automatic tweeting and emailing and blogging and texting?, asked Walker.
Yes Walker has it right, these nubiles only seek their independence and the material world where they hope that they might come into goods that merely enhance their earthly worth without regard for the more ancient desire for family and covenant and our heritage!
We need more women! Our party is devoid of new women. We are stuck with crones and angry females who no longer lust for the 'life force'; the population must be increased to the point where the barbarians and the Moors and the lesser races are no longer a force to be dealt with!
There are Sabine Women available for the taking. We might find new baby repubs in these women's wombs.
The crowd was aghast! And yet as everyone knows, it's a gas gas gas.
But we have laws against slavery; we have a Constitutional Amendment against slavery for chrissakes!
We have new legislation less than 50 years of age that in fact gives women equal rights according to our most conservative Supreme Court.
How might we intrude upon these women's wombs in order to expand our population? And get away with it? (Rusius Lambusius retorted)
I wish to back a minute before we reach a formal covenant as to how to fix these things that keep us from having more babies!
We repubs are always willing to feed out pussies, we take them out to dinner and to reward them with jewelry and such. And these barbarians; these communist savages lure these women into baby free sex and social opportunities!
Something is happening here and we do not know what itis!
The real problem here is pornography. Pornography has adulterated our morals taken our women's wombs away from us! Pornography must be obliterated so that once again, barefoot and pregnant, the female will once again replenish our ranks with beautiful babes who can be home schooled and Jesuit taught and evangelically adopted by our tribe.
But there are repubs as well as barbarians who seek the relief from the pornographers!
Yes, but we take our wars against the anti-repubfamilials in steps.
So consider this, Romulus Sanctorum continued:
First we attack all steps in the abortionists' plan.
We outlaw any attempt by the Federal Government to fund abortions.
And that limitation must include any chance of funding abortions that were 'caused' by rape or incest!
After all, in any case, we know that pregnancies are the result of rape; women could not possibly countenance this invasion of their sacred parts!
We 'take over' certain non profit organizations that feed into aberrant organizations like Planned Parenthood
Like the Susan G. Komen Foundation!
We must put our own secret agents into such organizations.
We must legislate edicts that those who seek abortions must undergo excruciating and tortuous 'tests' that invade the actual province which we seek.
We must adulterate not only the inside of the womb but the outside as well in order to completely obliterate any chance of the woman achieving individuality.
And finally we must attack, per state legislation (the Roman Senate is not ours at the moment) any chance of the woman achieving planned parenthood by outlawing her only chance of escaping pregnancy every 9 months or so. Because we already know that women, being of lesser moral constitutional talents shall fall on the sword—so to speak—in order to satiate their evil desires.
Finally we must enact laws making it illegal for ANY WOMAN to use the birth control pill, and the first step in that war is to make any woman who CLAIMS that she needs birth control for other health reasons; that woman must PROVE beyond a shadow of a doubt that she possesses that diagnosis.
We shall work hard following the passage of this legislation to finally eviscerate the one substance that keeps us, repubs and true patriots, from populating the universe as is demanded by the Bible!
Then for the greater good of Rome, we must force the Sabine's legs open to conjecture, open to argument; and open to repubs so that we might once again find the yield that is necessary in order to keep Rome alive, to keep Rome populated, to keep Rome from becoming a race of barbarians, a race of Moors, a race of Hispanics!
Alas and alack, these poor folks cannot find their way home: