THE NEW DRINK OF PROBLEM SOLVERS

Okay, so it appears we find ourselves in a new era.

Here is a sampling from a speech given almost half a century ago from some politician:

No man can fully grasp how far and how fast we have come, but condense, if you will, the 50,000 years of man's recorded history in a time span of but a half-century. Stated in these terms, we know very little about the first 40 years, except at the end of them advanced man had learned to use the skins of animals to cover them. Then about 10 years ago, under this standard, man emerged from his caves to construct other kinds of shelter. Only five years ago man learned to write and use a cart with wheels. Christianity began less than two years ago. The printing press came this year, and then less than two months ago, during this whole 50-year span of human history, the steam engine provided a new source of power. Newton explored the meaning of gravity. Last month electric lights and telephones and automobiles and airplanes became available. Only last week did we develop penicillin and television and nuclear power, and now if America's new spacecraft succeeds in reaching Venus, we will have literally reached the stars before midnight tonight.

http://www.historyplace.com/speeches/jfk-space.htm

We have a different kind of speech making today.

Back in 1962 there were real fears in this country; don’t get me wrong.

I mean communism was going to take over the world whether Nikita kept his shoe on or not.

As a boy I was worried about Dutch Elm Disease; all the trees in my little suburb would be lost before I made it to high school.

I was told that Daylight Savings Time would destroy the very foundations of our society. (Although I recall thinking in those days that birds and butterflies and squirrels did not seem overly concerned about the hands on a clock.)

Fluoridation of our water supply would make it impossible for me to ever have children.

The National Debt was so great in 1962 that I was afraid my grandchildren would never have the opportunity to own heir own transistor radio.

There were worries expressed in the press as well as the local diner that the Pope was exercising far too much power in some place called Washington; but Grandma assured me that my single most important obligation on this planet was to do what my Pope wanted anyway since he and he alone represented Jesus Christ on earth.

Back in 1962 I was assured that unions were destroying this country and I tended to believe that since the guy who ran all the unions was actually named Meany!!!

I recall that many people were no longer listening to the Pope and that pretty soon everyone would end up getting divorced.

I also recall that there were initiatives to actually erase Sunday Closing Laws from the books so that instead of going to church, people would be running to clothes stores and getting their groceries on the Sabbath. I knew something about Jewish people because they would appear on Ed Sullivan telling jokes all the time and I knew that their Sabbath was on Saturday; and there were absolutely no Saturday Closing Laws that I knew about. Of course I attended Catechism on Saturdays anyway and people were shopping all over the place on Saturdays anyway and the entire situation was extremely confusing to me.

Well a lot of things have changed over the last half century. Our fears as a nation are not even the same.

I mean we still have bouts of Dutch Elm Disease but there appear to be an awful lot of elms that made it through the storm.

My computer takes care of things like Daylight Savings Time so I do not need to worry about such things.

There appear to be more problems with our water supply than ever before but fluoride is in our toothpaste so that can’t be the problem.

We never really paid back that huge debt we owed ourselves in 62, but we got a lot better at printing money to take care of that problem.

Jesus picked an ex NAZI as his representative on this planet, but that does not seem to bother people much since no one in this country ever listens to El Papa anyway.

Everybody is now free to seek a divorce but spousal homicide does not appear to have abated any.

Communism never really caught on and the Ruskies have been real busy (along with the Red Chinese) attempting to make lots of money.

Unions represent less than half of the workers they once represented thanks to ‘right to work’ laws.

And thanks to right to work laws we have double the number of people who cannot find work; and the ones who can find work, work for a lot less money.

No we have new menaces and new dangers to face in this new era; that’s for sure!

Since my prologue went on far too long, I can only discuss one of those menacing dangers facing our nation to day.

But first, I must provide a proper context for today’s discussion.

We find ourselves in Colorado examining the Governor’s race.

See, the Dems decided to nominate a fellow by the name of Hickenlooper for governor of Colorado.

(Boy, the dems can sure pick em!! I mean with a name like Hickenlooper, they are going to need longer ballots. And aren’t their ad men around who help political parties for these elections? I mean a hundred years ago everybody knew that you needed Smith Brothers cough drops if you had a tickle in your throat. Do you really believe that Smith & Co. would have lasted more than a century if they had decided to call their product Hickenlooper Brothers cough drops? Oh well, I digress.)

So one would think that running against a guy whose name sounds like some disease of the muscles;  the repubs would have some sort of leg up, as they say.

(Although if Huckabee runs on the repub ticket in 2016, the dems might think of nominating Hickenlooper. By 2016 the country is going to be so damn sick of the dems that the repubs should be way, way up in the polls and if its Hickenlooper v. Huckabee…well confusion develops amongst the electorate and the dems might have a fighting chance. But I digress again!!)

Well, some teaparty guy by the name of Maes won the repub primary in Colorado. And it appears that Maes is quite the scholar even though it appears his forefathers had difficulty spelling things.

Maes went ahead and researched. He studied everything about his opponent, this Hickenlooper fellow.

It seems that Hickenlooper had been the mayor of Denver prior to this run for governor.

And Maes uncovered a scandal of the first magnitude in Denver; a conspiracy of sorts that threatens the entire fabric of our society:

Republican gubernatorial candidate Dan Maes is warning voters that Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper's policies, particularly his efforts to boost bike riding, are "converting Denver into a United Nations community."

"This is all very well-disguised, but it will be exposed," Maes told about 50 supporters who showed up at a campaign rally last week in Centennial.

"This is bigger than it looks like on the surface, and it could threaten our personal freedoms," Maes said.

Read more: Bike agenda spins cities toward U.N. control, Maes warns - The Denver Post http://www.denverpost.com/election2010/ci_15673894#ixzz0z9WQJ6ZF

 

Forget a real unemployment rate approaching 20% of our potential work force.

Forget a national debt that is approaching the actual stock port folio of the richest one percent of our population.

Forget a global warming threat that will soon bring palm trees to northern Minnesota as well as the Dakotas.

Forget a prison population that is approaching one percent of our population.

Hell, forget about fluoridation and even Dutch Elm Disease for a moment.

Maes has discovered an international conspiracy (without communistic involvement, evidently) to fuck up our bicycle paths.

THESE ARE INDEED THE TIMES THAT TRY MEN’S SOULS.

And the Tea Party as well as the repubs have the answers.