The Bishop and the Butterfly: Murder, Politics, and the End of the Jazz Age
    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Shia LeBeouf - I tapped that

    When I saw that Shia LeBeouf told the media that he had "hooked up" with Megan Fox, I was not surprised. After all, I have hooked up with him, as well

    Yes, friends, I, noted comma user, William K. Wolfrum, have hooked up with Shia LeBeouf.

    The first time was on the set of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. We both figured we'd never work again, so what the hell?

    The next time I hooked up with Shia Lebeouf was on a cruise ship. We were with different people, but everyone on the cruise tries to get you to like everyone and you want to like everyone and they want to like you and, well, you know.

    There was the time we just passed each other on the street when I wanted to congratulate him on his new career as a stock broker. (Interoil is down $15 since you were pumping it,  btw, Shia Lebeouf.)

    Or when we worked as stock boys at a TJ Maxx. Hey, management encouraged us to get along.

    There were other times, as well, but really who can remember all the hooking up one does. I'm sure Shia Lebeouf (he demands people always call him by his full name. It's a little off-putting.) won't mind me mentioning it. Maybe I should wake him up and ask him?

    Anyway, let me just finish with this:

    Shia LeBeouf - I tapped that.



    Who is Shia LeBeouf?  Surely you are more famous than he.

    Oh, Cville. We mustn't let Shia LeBeouf know there's someone on this planet who doesn't know who he is. 

    I remember him from Season Two of "Project Green Light".  He was just a kid and it was his first real acting job but already he thought he was a star and he was entitled.  Sweet and shy at first but it didn't take long for him to become obnoxious and demanding.  His movie, "The Battle of Shaker Heights" only made $280,000 at the box office.

    I laughingly thought that swelled-headed kid with the crazy name would be going back to his hometown with that one single Z-movie under his belt, living off the glory of it for the rest of his life.  But then I saw him as Indiana Jones's long lost son in one of those movies.  And now he's such a big star even Wolfrum writes about him.  Goes to show what do I know?

    Thanks, Ramona.  I depend on people like you to fill in the holes in my knowledge!  I remember when I told my daughter I heard a new word, and was sure she was going to hear it for the first time from me.  She laughed hysterically when her out-of-touch-mom blurted out:  "Bling!"

    Shhh.  Kind of embarrassing that I know that much about S leB.  But I know what you mean about being out of it.  I found pot seeds in my daughter's closet once and thought they were tiny peppercorns!  (Yes, she was in BIG trouble.)

    But when they hooked up, Megan said, "Where's le bœuf?"

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