Flav's Fav: No Good Men Among the Living
Maiello Hails The Mouse That Roared
Oh, how I disdain the Ad Council and their stupid commercials. Just look at these. Few things boils my blood more than seeing our government piss away our tax dollars. Our hard earned capital is routinely spent on frivolous endeavors that benefit few while burdening the majority. While I think government spending in certain areas is absolutely necessary, spending money on stupid stuff is deplorable. An awesome example of horrible government spending is the Ad Council. While the organization itself is not a governmental agency, it accepts millions of dollars in public funds. Let’s review some of the ads tax payer money goes towards.
Example #1: What Are Your Kids Learning on the Internet?
That’s right America, if you don’t put parental blocks up on your computer, your kids will rape your pets. The internet is full of non-kid safe material, but I’m pretty sure that if your kid is twisted enough to try to roll over on Rover the internet is the least of your concerns.
Example #2: Caring vs. Controlling
You think it’s just a regular commercial for some wireless company introducing its “stalker plus” program that enables you to bother 5 people of your choice with no charge, then you think it’s a commercial selling big foam cell phone costumes, and just when you think it can’t get anymore weird comes “Nude pics, send me some.” This commercial was better when it was a movie staring Marky Mark and Reese Whitherspoon called Fear.
Example #3: Extra Arms
I’m not saying that having two extra arms would be a good thing, but shoot, the freak-of-nature angle has worked well for the Pregnant Man and Octo-crazy-mom. If growing extra arms is your penance for being an asshole, sign me up – my penance could be worse and a lot less practical. Plus, the girl tells the guy he should do something to change his karma, it's interesting that she didn't include "Buy back your grandpa's power tools, you tweaker prick." Maybe she doesn't like gramps either.
Example #4: Father involvement
If the Ad Council wanted to get across the importance of being involved with your daughter, they’d be better served showing a teenage girl acting like a slut. Because let’s face it, most teenage sluts are sluts because they have some daddy issues. This commercial should be something like “Don’t want your daughter to be a dirty teenage slut or a stripper? Get involved in her life so she doesn’t pierce her tongue and give BJ’s like they was going out of style.” Don’t get me wrong, a lot of the Ad Council commercials have good points to them. Of course you should make sure your young child isn’t surfing for porn on the net, you should avoid stalker-ish people, do good things, and pay attention to your children, but is it really necessary to spend our tax dollars telling people these obvious facts?