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    Balloon Hoax Update: Everyone but Fox News prepares to surrender

    By William K. Wolfrum on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 7:40am | Humor & Satire

    FORT COLLINS, Colo. — The parents accused of concocting a publicity stunt by pretending their young son had climbed aboard a homemade helium balloon and was hurtling through the Colorado skies will surrender to the authorities as soon as charges are filed, the lawyer for the father said Monday.

    In addition to the surrender of Richard and Mayumi Heene, millions of others will also surrender themselves to federal authorities, whether charged or not. For example, Shepard Smith of Fox News is expected to surrender for spending three hours watching the balloon, wondering aloud if it was a hoax, yet not following through whatsoever, choosing instead to reflect on his childhood.

    In fact, hundreds of national journalists are expected to surrender to authorities for the whole charade, and for not getting a balloon expert to look at the balloon and say “No, you idiots, there’s no child in there, stop trying to save money by following someone else’s feed.”

    More than one million Americans are expected to surrender to authorities for secretly hoping they’d see the boy fall, while a million more will surrender for secretly hoping Jesus would swoop in and save the boy.

    Aside from Smith, no one at Fox News will be surrendering, as they continue to report that there could, in fact, still be a boy in that balloon. However, federal authorities are still pleased with this unique display of personal responsibility.

    “You’d think some blogger just invented this whole scenario, it’s truly inspiring,” said the authority. “As for Fox News, the orders are to mock them on site. Just like always.”

    –WKW

    Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

    Topics: 
    Humor & Satire

    Comments

    Has anyone heard the Balloon Boy Father's - New Revelation?  WOW!
    http://concretelyambiguous.com/todays-truth/balloon-boys-father-a-new-revelation/


    by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 10:05am

    I have to say that I'm skeptical that this is a hoax. At first, when I heard what the boy said I thought it sounded very much like a hoax, but the more I thought about it, the more the idea bothered me. If it was a hoax, wouldn't he have done a better job at it? I can think of a lot better "finales" than finding the boy safe at home.


    by Nebton on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 10:18am

    What, you gonna put this on his Report Card? "D- in Hoaxing? Kid needs to focus."

    I know Americans have great faith in Education, but I'd lean more toward the use of physical violence to resolve problems like this. Beating the snot out of Dad just seems a whole lot more productive.


    by quinn esq on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 3:11pm

    Well, presumably if this was a hoax, then it was the father's idea to have the kid be hiding at home. You'd think if the father was the one behind it (which seems to be what everyone is suggesting), then he would've been more creative than just having his child be hiding.

    However, maybe the father deserves a D- in Hoaxing.

    "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." — Albert Einstein.


    by Nebton on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 3:48pm

    What's the difference between a hoax and person being a douche-knuckle?  These seems to be less of a hoax and more of a papa-baloon being a complete and utter jackarse.  Am I right or am I wrong?


    by Larry Jankens on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 5:08pm