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    I Hate Wow Wow Wubbzy: Why Kid's TV Sucks

    I have the great displeasure of having to watch children’s programs while hanging with my girl when she’s baby sitting her little cousins and let me tell you, kids TV sucks! It’s like programming for narcissistic drunk people. While I do hate Dora (c’mon Swiper, kill her already), I hate Wow Wow Wubbzy the very most. Their song Mr. Cool epitomizes my dislike for them, it goes a little something like this:

    Mr. Cool

    You don’t have to do a fancy dance

    You don’t have to wear the fancy pants

    You only have to give yourself a chance

    And you’ll see you are the coolest

    You don’t have to talk a certain way

    There’s nothing special you have to say

    Just be yourself every day

    And everyone will know you’re the coolest

    You don’t have to be like everyone

    Be yourself, you’ll be number one

    And you’ll feel like the coolest

    Don’t forget the golden rule

    Be yourself and you’ll be cool

    Just be yourself and you’ll be cool

    No need to be something you’re not

    Or to get what you haven’t got

    Don’t tie yourself up in a knot

    Because you are the coolest

    They’ll never be another you

    You’re the only one, this is true

    You’re special in whatever you do

    And you are the coolest

    You are you and I am me

    There’s no other way we have to be

    Just look in the mirror and we can see

    That we are the coolest

    And because I’m on a numbering kick lately, let’s examine this song in numbered bullet points:

    1) The message is that you don’t have to work to be cool, that you are cool all by yourself. Not only is this patently untrue for 99.99% of people, it sends the message that kids deserve to be cool with out any effort on their part.

    2) “Be yourself and you’ll be cool” is not the golden rule. Hello? Who the hell is Wow Wow Wubbzy to change the golden rule. You can’t change the golden rule, that’s why it’s called the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you – that’s the golden rule!

    3) I understand that you need to give your kid a self-esteem, but isn’t this a bit excessive? I think it’s good for kids not to think too highly of themselves, it keeps in their place. That’s one of the things that pisses me off about kids in the first place, their self-esteems are way too high. I don’t want a generation of kids thinking they are the “coolest.”

    4) “You’re special in whatever you do” Wrong, Wubbzy, just wrong. If everyone was special, then what’s the point of being special? You should teach your kids that if they want to be special they have to do what everybody who is special does and work their ass off to get special results.


    Wow. Do you hate Christmas and Dr. Seuss too?

    In so much as they teach kids the wrong messages: 1) Christmas - consumerism is God 2) Seuss - it's okay to make words up if they rhyme

    Bet you love the Grinch though.

    Burn! I walked into that one. Score for Orlando.

    Ok, in all seriousness, I think you're being a bit overcritical of a show meant for small children. I haven't heard of Wow Wow Wuzby, but if it can be compared to Dora, it's target audience is most likely preschool-aged kids. From a child development perspective this strikes me as the perfect age to tell them how great and special they are. First of all, their world still revolves around them. At 2 and 3, as far as their concerned, everyone and everything in the world exists to serve their needs. At 4 and 5, they start to notice that it feels good to do nice things for the people they love, but they are still little narcissists. So when you tell them they are special, they believe it. It helps to develop their self-esteem so when they start school and start to realize they have limitations, they can draw on that healthy self-esteem so that they're not devastated when they see that other kids can read better, draw better, run faster, or whatever.

    There's enough time in life to realize how not special you are. Let the kids watch this Wuzby character and feel good about themselves. Where's the harm?

    It is never too early to teach a kid (even if he/she doesn't fully understand it) that being "special" takes hard work and that they are not the center of the universe.  I get your point that it's important to inculcate a healthy self-esteem, but wouldn't you say that there is such a thing as "too healthy self-esteem?"  We've all met people who think way too highly of themselves, most of them are bloggers :P, and I think we'd all agree we don't need more of those folks in the world. 

    A parent acting in a disciplined and loving manner would do much more for a kids self-esteem then to have them sing along with Wubbzy.  The harm is in plopping your kids in front of the television and expecting them to build genuine self-esteem through vegging out. 

    That's why we don't have a TV. My kids never spend any time in front of the television. Instead, I let them surf the web where it's safe.

    (OK, so I don't actually have any kids. That's what makes me an expert on the subject.)

    Wow Wow Wubbzy,

    Larry Jankens in the Tubbzy,

    Playin' with his rubber Dubbzy,

    Like a German U-Boat Subbzy.


    Wow Wow Wubbzy,

    Wished Orlando was his Bubbzy,

    To play Mubbzy Rubbzy Dubbzy,

    Til the Vice Unit shows up and throws his sicko ass in the slammer with Polanski.

    At least Orlando and I aren't one of those Star Bellied Sneeches like Quinn.  Everyone knows the star bellied look was sooo last year. 

    Mubbzy Rubbzy Dubbzy?

    Bump. I HATE this show! I swear it's run by the military in an attempt to brainwash our future generations. Hey, they've done it before with mkultra.

    No our generation as parents have been brainwashed! We all have OCD and paranoia!!  Its a positive message and only bitter hateful people think otherwise.

    You sound like a bitter old man!  Its a positive thing, dont be such a grump and you will be the coooooolest!  Damn get a life, I cant believe you sat their an wrote this whole blog about something thats actually positive, sending a message to kids that you DONT need to act like everyone else to fit in, for example, the way you talk, the way you dress, etc.  Do you realize kids are exposed to drugs, sex, body issues, and all types of issues you have no idea about? Get a life!  Why dont you go make yourself a whiskey while you watch it...and maybe you'll feel better about yourself!

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