William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Should William K. Wolfrum look at porn all day, or be a Work Vigilante?

    By William K. Wolfrum on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 2:43pm | Humor & Satire, Media

    I’m looking for reader input on whether and when I, William K. Wolfrum, should actually do work, or whether I should just look at porn all day.

    One example mentioned recently by a reader: “Mr. Wolfrum, there have already been two GOP Primaries and several GOP Debates. You have written nary a word about these events. I wish you would stop spending your days looking at porn and instead try working for a change.”

    Another example from a reader: “Bill, you need to work more. Now. Stop looking at porn all day or our marriage is in real trouble.”

    These messages were typical of mail from some readers who, fed up with my porn habit and evasion to work, look to me to get off my ass and actually do something. Anything.

    Is that the prevailing view? And if so, how can I, William K. Wolfrum do this in a way that is objective and fair? Is it possible to be objective and fair when I actually do things, as opposed to doing nothing and being as fair as possible? The question here is a simple one: Should I look at porn all day, or be a work vigilante? This, of course, leads to other questions, such as:

    • When I cut the lawn, should I set it on fire and then shoot bullets into the house, or should I be a lawnmower vigilante?
    •  
    • If I have a child, should I ignore it and allow wolves to raise it, or should I be a parenting vigilante?
    •  
    • Should I eat cereal dry, or should I be a milk vigilante?
    •  
    • Should fireman stand by and watch houses burn while mocking the owners, or should they be firefighting vigilantes?
    •  

    Please feel free to leave a comment below or send me an e-mail at [email protected] with the subject line: Readers Point the Way: Wolfrum Work Vigilante. Please adhere to my comment moderation policy when posting. If I don’t get back to you, assume I am looking at porn.

    –WKW

    Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

    Topics: 
    Humor & Satire
    Media

    Comments

    Don't worry about it.  I myself have not watched one single minute of any Republican debates.  It doubt it matters much to the course of history.

    Anyway, the Republican campaign is just political porn for hopelessly addicted politicos.


    by Dan Kervick on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 2:55pm

    I like to watch the debates while imagining that the GOP field is actually a brilliant troupe of avant garde performance artists and that they are merely creating a marvelous caricature of the most vile and delusional narcissists imaginable.  I end up giving a lot of standing ovations in my living room, for instance when Rick Perry claimed that Iranians had the capability to move, and I quote, "literally at the speed of light."  That's a tour de force performance right there.


    by DF on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 3:11pm

    Is there a substantive distinction between the GOP debates and the porn? In both cases it is obvious from the get go who is going to get screwed.


    by Donal on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 3:24pm

    Yeah, but consider: The orifice and agent remain up for grabs...for instance, where else are you so likely to see someone sodomize themselves with their own head?


    by jollyroger on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 10:34pm

    Well I know for a fact you write porn all day, you twitter freak! So do you really need to watch it too? 

    Answer me after you tweet and wash your hand. #onehandedtypingfortwitheads #twitterporn #martyeisenstadtwillstandyouupitshisfault


    by tmccarthy0 on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 4:17pm

    Wolfie, I just assumed that "watching porn" was  the secret code for the crap that is pretending to be news at the moment.  Keep up the good work, and wait until you have something "seminal" to offer.  I, for one, am content until you have something solid to say.

     

    Until then, keep your emotive "aaaaahs, and oooooohs" to yourself.


    by CVille Dem on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 8:33pm

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