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    Answering the Stupidest Questions: Do Dead Cows Mean Biblical Prophecy is coming true?

    By William K. Wolfrum on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 3:58pm | Religion, Media

    Hello everyone, and welcome to today’s episode of “Answering the Stupidest Questions.”

    (Applause)

    Today, Time Magazines dares to ask the question ringing in hardly anyone’s mind: “Does the Death of 200 Cows in Wisconsin Confirm Biblical Prophecy?”

    Regardless of the outcome of those necropsies, plenty of people find the herd’s mysterious death somewhat apocalyptic, especially in the wake of events that claimed the lives of thousands of birds and fish in Arkansas, and hundreds of birds in Sweden, Louisiana and Kentucky.

    Some Christians, including online theologian Paul Begley in Indiana, believe the animal deaths were divined from above as a sign the end of days is approaching.

    So, the question: “Does the Death of 200 Cows in Wisconsin Confirm Biblical Prophecy?”

    Answer: Of course not, you feeble, pandering morons.

    That’s all for today, join us next week when we answer a question from young Billy O’Reilly, who asks “Being that tides are scientifically unexplainable, is it God?”

    Thank you and good night!

    (Applause)

    –WKW

    Topics: 
    Religion
    Media

    Comments

    hahahahaah. I know I read this crap every single day.

    Why not just refer to the Mayan omens concerning 2012?

    Why not refer to tarot cards?

    Why not ask Bill Kristol? ha


    by Richard Day on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 4:54pm

    If you hear of some ugly cows, eating beautiful cows would you please let me know?

    4 Then the cows that were ugly in appearance and thin-fleshed began to eat up the seven cows that were beautiful in appearance and fat. At this Phar′aoh woke up


    by Resistance on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 5:18pm

    Really, Resistance -- Don't you think that only a bull can discern a pretty cow from an ugly one?

    by CVille Dem on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 7:46pm

    Think about this as a science fiction movie 

    Pan to a Chinese factory, the manager is told to put melamine in the baby formula. Hundreds of small children die, because industry wanted to squeeze a few more dollars.

    Pan next to England where cows are stumbling and we discover mad cow disease.

    The ranchers or who ever made the decision to put bone and meat by- products to fatten the cows, screwed up . Instead of acknowledging they messed up, they in their greed, think, how can we continue using the by- product of slaughterhouses.

    Some genius decides lets change the genetic code that allows herbivores to become carnivores.

    Topping that off with genetically altered grain feed, A whole generation of livestock destroyed genetically.

    The dream the pharaoh had about the Great famine in Egypt had a minor fulfillment then.

    Pan to the scene today, millions of people Earth- wide, suffering from a Famine, created by man altering the Genetic code.

    Taking years to reestablish the original gene pool, until that can be restored, mankind will have to just wait, and millions will die.

    The ugly cows are those whose genes were transformed to carnivores.

    Who will save mankind before it is to late, he’s not only screwed up the water and the air, he has now so altered the food chain we may never bring it back

    Enter Morgan Freeman to assure the Nation, the government has been storing as much seed stock to reestablish the food supply. Under Yucca mountain.

    Because the government, by the people and for the people will never perish. God bless you and may he protect you. , (because were getting the heck out of town before you ) 

    While the rich buy a ride on the yucca mountain express.

    End of movie


    by Resistance on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 11:04pm

    Shows how much things have changed since Biblical times. Today, no way would a thin cow eat anything with lard in it.

    (Unless perhaps she were a bulimic cow....)


    by erica20 on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 9:36pm

    Actually, the Mayan omens should get far more respect. After all, they figured out calendars and math, and were most likely visited by smarter beings than us, who made those cool earth-pictures only visible from the sky. I wish there were a way to understand the wisdom that they obviously had. I am not looking forward to 2012, frankly.

    by CVille Dem on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 7:43pm

    Okay, now you're scaring me.  Damn Mayans, anyway.


    by Ramona on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 7:44pm

    hahahhahaahahahah speechless hahahaha


    by Richard Day on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 8:00pm

    Here you go Jan. I love when PBS's Neil Degrasse Tyson debunks stuff:


    by mageduley on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 12:51am

    He's good. He has a very good way with people. Fluid.

    I agree  with his sentiments about how people reason  the date of 2012 means anything except a new cycle for the Mayans. 

    2012 is all hype.

    What I am afraid will happen; is 2012 will pass and nothing happens, and mankind thinks to himself. We don’t want to hear, that Jesus is coming 

    A similarity to the lesson taught in the fable of the boy who cried wolf. After awhile no one believed the boy, and when the wolf finally appeared, no one believed him.  But the wolf did come and destroyed the flocks.  

    If a lesson was to be learned from the hype, it is this “What do I need to be doing now, if anything, to be prepared for that day”

    So if the hype of some “end” day, does nothing more than making us reflect, on how we live. That may be a benefit. 

    From a Christian viewpoint, the Great Day of Deliverance is unknown.   32 “Concerning that day or the hour nobody knows” “But keep on the watch”  

    A lot of people and not just Christians sense something’s up, there have been a lot of things occurring, that have frightened people. 

    Christians were told to view the seasons as an illustration “Note the fig tree and all the other trees: When they are already in the bud, by observing it you know for yourselves that now the summer is near. In this way you also, when you see these things occurring". 

    People are afraid we may be in the season of the end.

    We just don’t know the day or the hour. Are you ready?


    by Resistance on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 9:25am

    Although you are correct that the New Testament makes it clear that no one will know when it's coming, you seem to contradict yourself with this:

    A lot of people and not just Christians sense something’s up, there have been a lot of things occurring, that have frightened people.

    People have been "sensing" something's up for about 1900 years (or more, if you're not just talking about the second coming).


    by Atheist (not verified) on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 9:59am

    I see no contradiction.

    One wouldn't have to be a Christian.Think back to the battle fields of the Civil War, or the Great World Wars, many thought for sure, Whats up with this?

    Non- Christians, asking could it be, the end?

    I don't know if you like astronomy, but I found this interesting website about Halleys Comet Non Christians fearing comet omens.  

    Great Ball Of Fire!

    http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/1985-05-12/news/8501180842_1_astronomers-plague-chinese

    It seems like it's one thing after another. Sunamis, major flooding, major earthquakes. threats of Nuclear exploitation  just to name a few fearful events. .

    Now some would say, "it's because the world has gotten smaller, 24 hour news adding to the fear." SO ...

    So now, who can say "I didn't see any warning signs, I didn't get the sense of anything"  

    As if;  given more information is an excuse to deny.   "So keep me in the dark and then I'll  get the sense of it" ????

    Foretold “fearful sights and from heaven great signs” at the “conclusion of the system of things"

    Well-informed persons, including Non-Christians know;  50 percent of the satelites launched are for military puposes. They too fear, just as the Christians do, signs from the heavens. 

    I wonder what the people will think when some Nation sends satellite killers after anothers eyes .That'll be a spectacle to see, in the heavens.   


    by Resistance on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 3:27pm

    Yes, many religions have foretold the end, and you don't even have to be religious at all to fear the end due to one weapons system or another (or even genetic engineering, as you previously alluded to). I'm not personally fearful of the end, but I'll admit that it seems more likely than now (in that we have greater technological abilities) than in the past. Regardless, Tim McGraw's advice can apply to anyone:


    by Atheist (not verified) on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 3:37pm

    I like the song and the sentiment.

    I envy you, that you know how to make these kinds of attachments to your comments.

    I am not as fearful of the end either, I just have such strong feelings for those who'll suffer at the hands of the gangs.

    read Josephus' account of the siege of Jerusalem. what the jewish nation did to it's own  

    Have you seen the link  DF' did  at pope john paul

    WOW


    by Resistance on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 3:54pm

    Am I ready? Hmm...good question. I was thinking that the end of days might end up being something like I have read in Cormac McCarthy's "The Road" I have thought about stocking up on canned goods and vitamins just in case.


    by mageduley on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 11:30pm

    I saw the previews of the Road at the theater and it was so sinister, I didn't want to see the movie. It also reminded me of the movies with Mel Gibson as Mad Max

    Storing Food,............YOU'VE GOT FOOD 

    I am sure when you've been around a diverse crowd, the subject comes up. If ever the people find they are starving, they know a Mormon always has food under the bed.

    Have you ever read the reports from the Historian Josephus, about the conquest of Jerusalem.

    To condense........The Roman soldiers originally went to quell the rebellion, by the Jewish leaders and their followers, who wanted their Independence and they didn't want to pay their taxes. (tea party). Then something happened in Rome and the soldiers withdrew just as the prophecy said. .....When that event occurred as Jesus SIXTY (60) years earlier had said, the Christians that heeded the warning  fled to the mountains.........a few years later the Romans came back and remembering the heavy losses from the prior encounter, they laid siege upon Jerusalem at the very moment the city would be filled to the max. During Passover. 

    Imagine the horrors with the city walls? With no food for so many people, imagine what and WHO they were eating, Not only could they you, not escape, the vicious marauding gangs were in control. You were either conscripted to man the walls or if they would let you pass, you were stripped of anything of value........How the attempting escapees must have felt, realizing they should have left two years earlier, as they had been told to do. 

    These movies the Road,  Mel’s portrayals and history itself reminding us, how fragile our civility is.

    If you store the food, I wouldn't let anybody know.  

    The other day on this blog site the issue of gun control was heated, I really don't want to have a gun, but when the times get desperate, I wonder if it will become necessary, for those who didn't heed the warnings? 

    Think Somalian warlords, or the civil unrest in Tunisia, Greece, maybe here at home

    YOU'VE GOT FOOD; what you going to do with it?   

    Do you remember this  "Living under the fear till nothing else remains"

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=332OFhPvGzU&feature=related

    Pick it up at 2:48 if you want to skip to the lyrics, but I think the orchestration is good in the beginning


    by Resistance on Thu, 01/20/2011 - 6:40am

    The end of days would come for me if a dead cow fell from the sky and landed where I stood.  Biblical prophecy says that I will die.  I stay away from Wisconsin for that very reason.  Cows?  Cheese? Lutherans?  (Oh, wait. . .that's Minnesota.  Carry on.) 


    by Ramona on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 5:42pm

    Someone told me the reason the original settlers went to Minnesota, the smart ones left Wisconsin.


    by Resistance on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 5:52pm

    Yeah, and they ended up in Milwakee penniless and drunk. hahahaha


    by Richard Day on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 6:25pm

    But they sure have good, foot stomping music in the region

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iM2xLlonpLE 

    I


    by Resistance on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 7:22pm

    Oh, Resist, that's my kind of music.  Can hardly keep my feet still.  My grandma was dancing the polka until she was 80.  She moved a little slower than before but so did her partner.  It was all good.


    by Ramona on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 7:30pm

    This would have been one of ours:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8--FQM8rwGM


    by Ramona on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 7:33pm

    Yes I agree, that was a good performance, it would be nicer to sit in a beer garden with good friends and dancing to it.  

    When I was a young boy in Minnesota, my grandmother wanted me to learn the accordian, to complement her on the guitar and my uncle on the harmonica.  I still have some of my mothers  LP's trying to figure out whether to keep them or Craigslist them  

    Richard D always links to a song that has a good beat, but I hate the lyrics

    Of course he likes the song probably for the lyrics  

    "Your going to hell" multiple times, or something like that 


    by Resistance on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 7:53pm

    I love the accordion, I guess because I grew up listening to them.  That would have been quite a trio with you, your grandomther and your uncle.  I think if you sold your mom's LPs you might be sorry some day.  Do you know that people are buying LPs just for the cover art now?   They frame them and hang them on the walls.

    I don't get the songs of today, either.  I'm totally square when it comes to music.  I want a melody!


    by Ramona on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 9:53pm


    by wabby on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 6:35pm

    I'd wipe that map off his hide.  That's how they found Wisconsin.


    by Ramona on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 6:41pm

    O My, that really is a world map! I don't suppose it could have been photoshopped. PLEASE CLICK ON THIS LINK!!!!!! http://www.theonion.com/articles/lingeriewearing-boehner-we-still-have-a...

    by CVille Dem on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 7:54pm

    Wouldn't you think someone would have told him to suck in his gut?  Gawd, those politicos.  Haven't a clue. . .


    by Ramona on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 8:09pm

    What a bad photoshop edit. He isn't even his natural tangerine color. Ha!


    by mageduley on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 8:51pm

    Photoshop? Aw, Just when I thought Boner was developing a sense of humor....

    by CVille Dem on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 9:04pm

    There's going to be a lot more of this, folks. Televangelists and the billionaire authors of the Left Behind series have seeded the field with fear, and many of us are vulnerable. It all makes Hal Lindsey look like a writer of children's books.


    by Red Planet on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 6:39pm

    All those who are to be saved, and you know who you are, should proceed immediately to Arizona and await further instructions.

    This is not a drill!  REPEAT  This is not a drill!

    ps  bring some ID


    by TJ on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 7:05pm

    Bring some Id Laughing

    I remember from my school days in MN, when the air raid alarm sounds, immediately get under the desk and put your head between your knees.  


    by Resistance on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 7:14pm

    We were taught the same procedures in Iowa.  When I got into the Navy, the instructor added additional instructions..."Get under the desk, put your head between your knees, then kiss your ass goodbye."


    by chucktrotter on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 8:01pm