William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Sharia Law: The answer to all America's problems

    By William K. Wolfrum on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 9:54am | Politics, Humor & Satire, Religion

    It’s time for Sharia Law to come to the United States. This nation has settled into a moral and economic funk that only a healthy dose of Sharia Law can fix.

    Oh sure, you’ve probably heard lots of bad things about Sharia Law. You probably think that it’s an Islamic plot to overthrow the world and control humanity. But this information – provided to you by the likes of Newt Gingrich – is based on ignorance and bigotry.

    Here are just a few examples of how Sharia Law will make things better for everyone:

    • Getting stoned will finally be legalized.
    • Free Cake on Wednesdays.
    • Ramadan will cure national obesity epidemic, and work off all that cake.
    • A whole new “Veil Industry” will provide good jobs for Americans.
    • Automatic weapons will be available at gas stations.
    • People who can’t dance will no longer feel ashamed.
    • And much, much more!

    So, am I suggesting that the U.S. be ruled by Sharia Law? Hell yes I am! Trust me on this, it would be a non-stop cake party. And America would regain its place as the greatest nation in the history of nations.

    Of course, there’s no chance in hell Sharia Law will become the law of the land in the U.S. But if you’re going to be ignorant about something that will never happen, why not pretend it’s a great thing rather than be terrified of it?

    –WKW

    Crossposted at WIlliam K. Wolfrum Chronicles

    Topics: 
    Politics
    Humor & Satire
    Religion

    Comments

    About time.

    M...m...m...m...MY Sharia!

    http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=179...


    by quinn esq on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 10:31am

    Musical geniuses, those guys!

    And Wolfie, I'll weigh in with my standard objection that it's sharia, not sharia law. Sharia already means "Islamic law," so the word "law" is redundant. Aside from that, though, your proposal makes a lot of sense.

    Unfortunately, songs by The Knack would be banned. Enjoy them while you can.


    by acanuck on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 1:13pm

    It's like when McArdle writes "all else ceteris paribus."


    by DF on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 1:17pm

    Says the man from the state that brings us The La Brea Tar Pits.


    by Orlando on Tue, 09/21/2010 - 9:20am

    It has come to our attention that one "Tim Johnson" is wearing a wire.  You've been made, Mr. "Johnson" - if that is your real name.  The pertinent questions now are:


    by DF on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 1:09pm

    Rachid's working Clash street. 

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DbFYsi9iSg


    by quinn esq on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 6:01pm

    Actually in a place like a wild place like anarchy-ridden Somalia where Sharia is "the only law west of the Pecos", it works pretty well, (women can walk home from shopping without getting raped sort of thing) without the need of a sophisticated state system to back it up. If anybody in Washington really cared about bringing some sort of law and order to what we call "failed states" they would be supporting Sharia, not dissing it.


    by David Seaton on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 3:21pm

    It works pretty well except when it doesn't.  Sharia might look pleasant next to the life of refugees, but lets remember we're talking about people who are refugees in their own country and that it is the very same people who advocate Sharia as the law of the land who perpetrate these conditions on their own people.  You're basically arguing that submitting to theocracy is preferable to being totally oppressed and physically abused by it.  Down that road lies madness.


    by DF on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 3:53pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqowmHgxVJQ

     


    by Richard Day on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 4:04pm

    I don't get what the wingers are so upset about.

    Pick up trucks (and yay, with no seat belts!) for all the guys, and.barefoot and pregnant wimmins stuck in the kitchen. What's not to like? True that the beer thing could be a problem, however with something like that, it's not that hard to get yourself the right mullah with the right fatwas. Fatwas, they're a dime a dozen, and people like Pat Robertson already have lots of experience at them.


    by artappraiser on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 10:13pm

    Beards


    by Michael Wolraich on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 11:58pm

    I am a "cultural relativist", because I have lived the greater part of my life in countries not my own and I have learned well the basic lesson that different cultures, histories and traditions go about solving life's problems in different ways. I wish I knew the Latin for "different strokes for different folks", because it should be written in stone, on some noble building.

    If Americans make the same mistake as the Soviets in thinking that "one size fits all"... The USA will end up sharing the fate of the USSR... or worse. We have to get out of people's faces.


    by David Seaton on Tue, 09/21/2010 - 3:15am

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