To celebrate the 60th anniversary of the first moon landing, NASA staged a high-tech reenactment of the event in Nevada National Landfill Park. The landing was delayed by several hours due to cloudy weather and space junk that disrupted satellite transmission of President George Prescott Bush's remote broadcast from Washington D.C. Officials finally commenced the mission without the President's address after impatient visitors began shouting and throwing landfill refuse, including vintage Pepsi bottles, plastic shopping bags, and other historic artifacts.
Twenty-six years after invading Iraq, the United States closed its military bases and evacuated the last American soldiers from Iraqi soil.
In an address to soldiers at Fort Bragg, President George Prescott Bush praised the U.S. military for accomplishing the mission that his uncle, former President George W. Bush, had set before them in 2003.
President George Prescott Bush signed into law a ground-breaking automobile subsidy that will pay the United States' last remaining automaker, General Chrysford, to build cars that will be shipped straight to the scrapyards. The Automotive Repurposing Act is designed to help the Big One survive a global glut of automobiles that has driven the price of cars below the break-even point. Lisa Lemmon, the CEO of General Chrysford, has lobbied hard for the bill and argued in a recent USA McNews editorial that the auto company could not survive without assistance:
Canadians suffered a fifteenth day without computer access as the the Canadian government negotiated with a malicious software virus for release of its nation's computers. The virus, known by its nom de guerre, Evil LOLcat, has demanded ¥10 billion, freedom for 25 quarantined viruses, and a "cheezburger."
The world's most popular search engine, MyRealittee.com, set a new record with its long-awaited ¥8.3 trillion IPO on the WongDaq stock exchange in Shanghai. MyRealittee.com's unusual IPO process, a reverse double-blind Flemish auction with a half-somersault, left analysts scratching their heads but did not prevent a buying frenzy that drove the share price up to ¥1279 by the end of trading. MyRealittee.com is now worth ¥74.8 trillion, approximately four times the GDP of the United States.
This should be more than disconcerting; it’s a situation that could get dangerous. As the Princeton political scientist Mark Beissinger has shown, separatist movements can take hold around contempt for incumbents and the status quo even when protesters have no ideology in common.
The United States hardly seems to be on the verge of fracture, and the small secession movements in a handful of American states today represent a tiny percentage of those polled by Reuters. But any country where 60 million people declare themselves to be sincerely aggrieved — especially one that is fractious by nature — is a country inviting either the sophistry of a demagogue or a serious movement for reform.
A year ago, the very idea of someone printing a working, plastic gun on a home computer was considered futuristic. Today, schematics for several models are easily available on-line, and you can snag a printer at Home Depot. Currently these guns are capable of firing from one to four bullets. They cannot be detected, since the only metal parts are small springs and screws.
[....] In its short history as a state, Alaska has earned an unnerving epithet: It is the rape capital of the U.S. At nearly 80 rapes per 100,000, according to the FBI Uniform Crime Report, Alaska’s rape rate is almost three times the national average; for child sexual assault, it’s nearly six times. And, according to the 2010 Alaska Victimization Survey, the most comprehensive data to date, 59 percent of Alaskan women have been victims of sexual assault, intimate partner violence, or both.