Michael Maiello's picture

    Stop The Election, I Wrote for The New Yorker!

    Trump who?

    Seriously, there is no other substance to this post other than this.


    Booyah!!!! Hilarious. Congrats, Mike!

    PS But you've sort of invalidated Shuts and Failures

    Yes, I have now entirely invalidated it.  Took 4 years, though!

    I once wore a toga to a party that I was assured would be a toga party. Ironies of ironies, high school can be most cruel. Except I brought the blender and the fixings for frozen daiquris, so I had the last laugh - right, I didn't share. Fuck them. And that's what you should tell New Yorker and McSweeney's. I'm sure they've heard that before, but it bears repeating. And well, now you're in with the in-crowd, so revenge is a dish best served cold. Like frozen daiquris

    Wow, the extreme nationalism of this post is pretty offensive. Tos violation? There is evidence, anecdotal I admit but powerful none the less, that when this article appeared in the New Yorker so many Russians and Syrians, both Assad supporters and rebels, stopped to read it that there was a lull in the fighting in Syria. Why this focus on the American election when this was a World Wide Event? I can only conclude the cause is xenophobia.

    That's smart business I did, getting the Syrians and the Russians to stop fighting because of laughter. Sad!

    What's sad is in that moment there was an opportunity to bring the parties together at the negotiation table and resolve this crisis. You did your part but where was Obama? Another failure to lead. Thanks Obama.

    Bravo and congrats!  Very clever -- even better than cat videos because there is:

    a). Dialogue (hard to do well, but you did it)

    b). A plot and a very deep message (as opposed to a deep massage, which is prevalent in those videos)

    Good for you!

    Deep massage? What kind of f-cked up cat videos are you watching?

    I wish I knew how to actually SHOW videos instead of just link to them:


    ​Michael, I'm thinking you need a cat!

    Wife's allergic. We'd get a dog if the management company let us. :..(

    PS That's the most boring cat video I've ever seen (not that I've seen many cat videos)

    Btw, to show a video, go to the Youtube page and click Share / Embed. Then copy the code in the little box that starts with <iframe>. Then in your dag comment, click the icon that looks like a filmstrip and paste the code that you copied. Click OK and save the comment.

    Isn't "boring cat video" redundant?

    Terms of Cat violations all around!


    You are so awesome! Almost as awesome as genghis. 

    But I read it twice....where's the wrestling reference? What is spotify, btw....?


    This commenter seems vaguely familiar to me. I checked the log. Her last comment is dated July 18,1973 (BC)

    I've been busy. Shut up.



    Not yet, give me a minute.



    Stay safe peoples.

    From henhouse to safehouse. Stay whole.

    Make American hens wholesome again

    Feathers on the floor again ... always a happy mess.

    Yeah, but did you have your shirt on?



    Did I have my shirt on?

    Did I have my shirt on?



    You are still the funniest guy on Dagblog.


    by the by, you lie. hahahahahah

    wailing otters—actual screaming animals.



    William Shawn is  pleased...

    I will have you know I was a full-fledged adult when I first listened to Smashing Pumpkins...and they used to be good, but I fucking hate Billy Corgan with a passion, that man is an idiot. He's like Trump, but bald.

    Also... congratulations you youngster!

    Not only is he an idiot, he's a junkie idiot.

    Still, his soundtrack for Spun, a movie by idiots for idiots, is spot on: (Hmmm, I may have just called myself an idiot...)

    Stop calling Peracles an idiot.  Don't make me get out my TOS book.

    *American* Idiot. Now that I live in Europe, I'm competing with a whole different class of idiot. They even pronounce it different.

    Hilarious, Mike! I'm kvelling!

    No smart remarks. Just echoing all the others, congratulations. 

    Holy cows and Hell's bells!  I go up to the boonies for a few days and I come back to the greatest feat ever by a Dagblog member!  (Except for Michael Wolraich, who has actually published a couple of books people actually paid to read and got to talk about his book on C-span.  That's big, too, but THIS! )

    Congratulations, MM, and I mean that sincerely, even though I m writing it through my teeth because I'm so damned jealous!  But the odd thing is, Before I even saw this, I was reading someone's story last night about how long it took to finally get a piece into S&M at the New Yorker.  Six years?  Seven years?  Something like that. But now I can't find it to share with you. (Okay, I found it.  It wasn't Shouts and Murmurs, it was Talk of the Town, but it was about breaking into the New Yorker.  http://contently.net/2016/09/23/stories/one-freelancer-broke-new-yorker-afar/)

    So this is a big, big deal.  Not that I didn't trust you, but I went to the New Yorker website and found you just three slots below Andy Borowitz.  That's big.  BIG!

    (Edited to add:  I don't know what any of it meant AT ALL but I'm still thrilled for you.)

    into S&M at the New Yorker? TMI Ramona.

    I had to laugh when I wrote it.  I wondered who would be the nasty one to pick up on it.  Ha ha!  You're it!

    Nasty? I've been golfing with Michael Wolraich and he's said far nastier things, not even close. I can't believe you've dragged this comment out of the past to insult me. This comment is more than 10 hours old. I've changed since then. But if anyone was offended I'd apologize.

    Trumpty-trump....I see where you're going here....

    Thanks, Mona. :)

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