Cleveland: Keeping Christmas at Home
Ramona: The War on Happy Holidays
I never thought this could happen to me …
My life was an ordinary one. My wife had left me two years earlier, taking the kids. My job with the cable company was unsatisfying but it paid the bills. I went to the bar three or four times a week. I played poker once a week with some guys I really didn’t even like. I was a nobody.
Then I saw her.
I was at Walmart to pick up something to eat and maybe a puzzle. I had some time on my hands – ok, I always had time on my hands – and I wandered about the store. That’s where she called to me.
She was long and sleek. Her power was undeniable, but her smouldering sensuality was undeniable.
“I’m AR-15,” she said. “Call me Bushmaster.”
Within minutes she was mine. I took her home that very night. And despite the irrational sexual tension between us, all I did that first night was sit her down and learn as much as I could about her. And there was so much to learn. She had, for instance:
We fell asleep in each others arms.
I awoke to see her lying still beside me, I rubbed my hand down her firm, perfect skin. I could see her react as I slowly entered a round into her chamber. She wanted this as much as I did. She was my dream, my love, my life. My hands exploring every part of her, I entered her again and again and again and again …
Finally, it was too much. It jerked as my finger stroked its trigger, and it went off with the power of a million angels screaming in ecstasy. I stared at her, hopelessly lost in desire.
I love you, AR-15. You truly make me a man. I will never let you be regulated.
Seven-year-old shot by neighbor
SPRINGDALE – A 7-year-old boy was killed at 7:30 a.m. this morning after being struck in the temple by an errant bullet. The boy, Bobby Jenkins, was “instantly killed” after being struck by an AR-15 round fired off by John Timson, a neighbor of the Jenkins family.
Timson – who reportedly had just bought the gun just last evening – was taken into custody under homicide charges. He was reportedly led from his home naked and screaming incoherently.
The round went through the Timson’s front window before striking the child and …
Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles