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William K. Wolfrum's picture

I love you, Bushmaster .223. You truly make me a man

 

I never thought this could happen to me …

My life was an ordinary one. My wife had left me two years earlier, taking the kids. My job with the cable company was unsatisfying but it paid the bills. I went to the bar three or four times a week. I played poker once a week with some guys I really didn’t even like. I was a nobody.

Then I saw her.

I was at Walmart to pick up something to eat and maybe a puzzle. I had some time on my hands – ok, I always had time on my hands – and I wandered about the store. That’s where she called to me.

She was long and sleek. Her power was undeniable, but her smouldering sensuality was undeniable.

“I’m AR-15,” she said. “Call me Bushmaster.”

Within minutes she was mine. I took her home that very night. And despite the irrational sexual tension between us, all I did that first night was sit her down and learn as much as I could about her. And there was so much to learn. She had, for instance:

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  • -- An aircraft grade forged 7075-T6 aluminum receiver is lightweight, highly corrosion-resistant, and machinable.
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  • -- A modular design that allows the use of numerous accessories such as after market sights, vertical forward grips, lighting systems, night vision devices, laser targeting devices, muzzle brakes/flash hiders, sound suppressors, bipods, etc., and makes repair easier.
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  • -- A straight-line stock design that eliminates the fulcrum created by traditional bent stocks, reducing muzzle climb.
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  • -- A small caliber, accurate, light weight, high velocity round (.223/5.56x45mm)
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  • -- A front sight adjustable for elevation.
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  • -- A wide array of optical aiming devices available in addition to or as replacements of iron sights.
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  • -- A direct impingement gas system (as designed) with short or long stroke gas piston, or direct blowback operating systems available.
  •  
  • -- And a 30-round capacity magazine.

We fell asleep in each others arms.

I awoke to see her lying still beside me, I rubbed my hand down her firm, perfect skin. I could see her react as I slowly entered a round into her chamber. She wanted this as much as I did. She was my dream, my love, my life. My hands exploring every part of her, I entered her again and again and again and again …

Finally, it was too much. It jerked as my finger stroked its trigger, and it went off with the power of a million angels screaming in ecstasy. I stared at her, hopelessly lost in desire.

I love you, AR-15. You truly make me a man. I will never let you be regulated.

 

Seven-year-old shot by neighbor

SPRINGDALE – A 7-year-old boy was killed at 7:30 a.m. this morning after being struck in the temple by an errant bullet. The boy, Bobby Jenkins, was “instantly killed” after being struck by an AR-15 round fired off by John Timson, a neighbor of the Jenkins family.

Timson – who reportedly had just bought the gun just last evening – was taken into custody under homicide charges. He was reportedly led from his home naked and screaming incoherently.

The round went through the Timson’s front window before striking the child and …

–WKW

 

 

Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

You hit the nail on the head yet again, Wolfie!  I'll just bet your scenario isn't far from the truth of what happened. 

 

I hope Resistance doesn't read this because it will make him drool all over his keyboard. 

It's such a disgusting visual thing when you say

I entered her again and again and again and again.

Where did you enter her? 

How you use the rifle to get off, if it floats your boat, whatever, but always remember to clean the end of the barrel.

http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~joe/firearms-safety.html

Safety Rules Related to Your Firearm.

2 - Never try to fire a gun which may have a plugged or partially obstructed barrel.

We fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Be careful,  in your excitement, while your stroking your love thing. YOU may violate a safety rule

Safety Rules Related to the Shooter and His Behavior.

8 Don't sleep with a loaded firearm in your bedroom if you sleepwalk, have nightmares, sleep restlessly or have other sleep problems.

Do you recognize you have behavioral issues, William?

Are you seeing a counselor, or on meds? 

Wolfrum, I believe your penultimate paragraph needs to refer to "she" rather than "it." And then, you need a better ending than "hopelessly lost in desire." Give yourself something to remember, boy!

Respectfully submitted.

I have a close conservative friend who owns alot of firearms and there is some serious madness going on. Said friend hunts quite a bit however it is obvious that his fondness for these guns goes well beyond needing to hunt. His brother owns several AR-15s, would bring them out and brandish them proudly and when his mother said, "Could you please point that somewhere else?" his father said, "Calm down, you're acting like a liberal crazy person!"

The gun fondness is just weird - really weird. I think our country is insane.

The Russian isn't bad, but I prefer the American.  

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