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Samba Bill and the Road to Carnival, Part 2

(Originally posted Feb 4, 2009 at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles)

Having gone over and over it, it’s clear now that there really is only one difference between myself and Colombian pop sensation Shakira. My hips lie.

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Iran delivers stunning punch to West by attacking its own people

The far right, convinced that Iranian Supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad were planning to destroy the world today with its massive, unchecked nuclear arsenal, can rest easy thus far, as Iran seems only intent on showing the world it’s military might by making life Hell for it

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Scientists: It's hot in Brazil, so Global warming is now a fact

BRAZIL – After temperatures soared to more than 100 degrees Fahrenheit today in both Sao Paulo and Rio De Janeiro, Brazil, a group of scientists working on a comprehensive study stated that Global Warming has now been proved, and no further testing or data is required on the subject.

“Our group went outside and felt extremely warm,” said noted climate Scientist John Timson. “This confirms all our beliefs. Global Warming is a fact.”

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Should the Filibuster eliminate Congress?

Senate Republicans and Democrats have done an admirable job showing that now may be the time for the filibuster to do away with Congress once and for all. As the nation shakily tries to regain its footing on precarious economic recovery – one that is very likely to turn back into an economic crisis at any minute – it may be time for both parties to use the filibuster non-stop until Congress itself is permanently shelved.

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Louie Psihoyos: Oscar for 'The Cove' could save lives of dolphins

Louie Psihoyos wants to win an Academy Award. For the Director of the Oscar-nominated documentary “The Cove,” being nominated is great, but when the envelope is opened, he wants to hear his film called out. Mind you, Psihoyos doesn’t much care about the award itself (“I’d probably give it to the crew,” he said.), but he wants what he sees as the biggest benefit an Oscar offers – a massive audience.

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Tea Partiers: Feel like you've lost your country? I just bought you a new one in Latvia

Dear Tea Partiers,

For a long, long time now, I’ve been hearing American Patriots going on and on about how they’ve lost their country. And by “long, long time” I mean “since Barack Obama was elected President.” And by “going on and on” I mean, “freaking out about Barack Obama being elected President.” But this is neither here nor there.

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Pedestrian accidentally filibusters all bills in Senate, blocks all Obama appointments

WASHINGTON – Timothy Johnson was taking a walk near his home in Washington, D.C., when he walked near Capitol Hill. Noticing his shoe was untied, Johnson bent to tie it. Then all hell broke loose, as his actions somehow filibustered every bill currently in Congress, as well as placed holds all of President Barack Obama’s nominations for government positions.

“That was me?” said Johnson. “Eek. I’m really sorry about that.”

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A Jack Johnson pardon awaits only a signature from Barack Obama

It seems the moment that Barack Obama took over the Presidency of the United States, his overall message changed. “Change We Can Believe in” morphed into “Bipartisanship: Now and Forever.” Like Bill Clinton before him, the need for Republican acceptance has become a an almost fetish for Obama, with the results thus far quite predictable – the U.S. government is now radically partisan.

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E-mails reveal Piper Palin ran Alaska in 2008

ANCHORAGE - Recently released e-mails by the Alaska State Government showed that Sarah Palin’s youngest daughter Piper, then 7, handled most of Alaska’s State business in 2008.

“If I don’t get a happy meal, heads are going to roll,” thundered Piper in an e-mail to then-Lt. Governor Sean Parnell in March. “And the toy better not be doodie!”


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Personal Information

William K. Wolfrum is an American journalist and writer residing in Brazil. Wolfrum's experience's consist of being a bartender, bouncer, carny, amateur boxer and commercial fisherman, which he talks about all the time, thinking it makes him some sort of tough guy. Wolfrum has been published or mentioned in the New York Times, Boston Globe, Toronto Star, and a bunch of other newspapers and magazines. Wolfrum is a two-time Alaska Press Club Award winner who hopes to someday win other awards so he doesn't have to talk about those two anymore.


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