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Karl Rove to star in “The Bachelor”

Karl Rove Bachelor

59-year-old Karl Rove is out to prove to the world that nice guys finish last and that evil douchebags finish in love. Tighten your security and prepare to be politically mauled as this Republican Political Operative is ready to trash reputations and destroy lives as the Bachelor.

William K. Wolfrum's picture & Patrick Byrne help define “Cookie Jar Reserves”

While it’s all fun and games with the pretend tough guys over at, Patrick Byrne and crew have done all us financial layman a favor – they’ve made the term “Cookie Jar Reserve” easier for us to understand.

William K. Wolfrum's picture

I’ve never been in the military but I know what the troops think

I have never served in the U.S. military. It was never really an option for me, as I tend to be quite cowardly and flee at the first sight of trouble. Also, I’m about as disciplined as Dennis Rodman. In fact, not only have I never served, I don’t really even know anyone currently serving. Nonetheless, I know exactly what men and women in the military are thinking.

William K. Wolfrum's picture

Get your masturbation on at The Huffington Post (updated)

While I, as much as anyone, understand the difficulty in making money on the Internet, I have generally tried to avoid doing baser things in order to make my Web site more profitable. Like, for instance, I haven’t made it a porn site or relied on scantily clad women to get extra hits. I have had my moments of weakness, mind you, but the most part, mine is a fairly dry site if getting wet is what you’re after.

The Huffington Post, however, is about eight minutes away from becoming a full-on masturbation magazine.

William K. Wolfrum's picture

The name is Judd: Bagley, Gregg, others give Judd a bad name

There is a Judd problem in the U.S. these days. Whether named Bagley, Gregg or Wynonna, the name Judd has been slung through the mud, as it now carries baggage like pedophilia, pederasty, murder and more. One needs an Apple iPad to keep track of the carnage. Some recent examples:

William K. Wolfrum's picture

A Letter to America from Karl Marx


Dear America,

Regarding Marxism: Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up!!!

William K. Wolfrum's picture

The Apple iPad: A hand-held genocide machine

While society has many ills, few threaten it as much as Apple’s release of the iPad*. This computer-esque piece of modern technology not only threatens society, but the entire planet, as well. In a world where swift communication is king, the iPad promises to take it to an new, exciting, and deadly plateau.

William K. Wolfrum's picture

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed breaks out of Gitmo, defeats U.S. military, enslaves American public

NEW YORK – In a shocking development today, arch-terrorist Khalid Sheikh Mohammed broke out of Guantanamo Prison, personally defeated the entire U.S. military, overthrew the U.S. Government and forced all Americans to abide by Sharia Law.

William K. Wolfrum's picture

Chris Matthews: “I forgot Prince & Paris Jackson were black”

During last night’s Grammy Awards, Michael Jackson’s children Paris and Prince Jackson accepted a Lifetime Achievement Award on behalf of their late father, in what was easily the most moving moment of the show.

William K. Wolfrum's picture

Barack Obama and I are 48th cousins!

When it was announced that President Barack Obama and super-hunk hottie Senator-elect Scott Brown were 10th cousins, I was as amazed as anyone. They look so different, after all. And their politics are different. It’s freaking mind-blowing stuff, if you ask me.


William K. Wolfrum's picture

Personal Information

William K. Wolfrum is an American journalist and writer residing in Brazil. Wolfrum's experience's consist of being a bartender, bouncer, carny, amateur boxer and commercial fisherman, which he talks about all the time, thinking it makes him some sort of tough guy. Wolfrum has been published or mentioned in the New York Times, Boston Globe, Toronto Star, and a bunch of other newspapers and magazines. Wolfrum is a two-time Alaska Press Club Award winner who hopes to someday win other awards so he doesn't have to talk about those two anymore.


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