SEATTLE – “Do I need honor these people and pretend that they are worthy of the privileges of the First Amendment which I have in my gut the sense that they will abuse?” cried out Marty Peretz.

“Where are the peaceful Muslims?! Where are the peaceful Muslims?” wrote Sarah Palin on her Facebook page.

Always quick to pounce on a big opportunity, political entertainer Sarah Palin today announced she has signed a $5-million deal to hawk sex enhancement products on QVC.

“If you’re tired of being limp and impotent, I’m here to help,” said Palin. “Why, I’ll make millions just from the lamestream media.”

The deal comes after Palin’s recent comments on the Sean Hannity Show:

Much has been said about Arizona Governor Jan Brewer’s performance at a debate recently. Here is a quick look at how Brewer quickly went to pieces during her opening statement:

NEW YORK — There has been a recent discovery that an unidentified person walked into an unidentified establishment between 3 p.m. and 7 p.m. sometime between Tuesday and Thursday this week. The person, reportedly between the age of 23 to 57, was possibly carrying “zero to four" bags, sources were unable to confirm.

The incident was originally reported at the Web site Drudge Report, under the headline “LIBERAL BAG-TOTING ACTIVIST REIGNS TERROR ON AMERICA.”