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Biography
William K. Wolfrum is an American journalist and writer residing in Brazil. Wolfrum's experience's consist of being a bartender, bouncer, carny, amateur boxer and commercial fisherman, which he talks about all the time, thinking it makes him some sort of tough guy. Wolfrum has been published or mentioned in the New York Times, Boston Globe, Toronto Star, and a bunch of other newspapers and magazines. Wolfrum is a two-time Alaska Press Club Award winner who hopes to someday win other awards so he doesn't have to talk about those two anymore.
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http://www.williamkwolfrum.com

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Aaron Hernandez: Did PEDs or head injuries play a part in the murder of Odin Lloyd?

As everything points to former New England Patriots' tight end  Aaron Hernandez being the person who murdered Odin Lloyd, one wonders if the media will eventually take a look at some factors regarding the case. Factors the NFL would not want investigated. [Read more]

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Child, 9, murders more than 100,000 in video game

DULUTH - In a scene of overwhelming carnage, Bobby Jenkins, 9, brutally murdered more than 100,000 people, zombies, and other entities yesterday.

The slaughter began at 3:30 p.m. yesterday, when Sally Jenkins, mother of Bobby, allowed her son to play the video game "Slaughter Everything." After doing some bills, Sally Jenkins stumbled across the murder scene and immediately sent young Bobby to his room.

"It was really unsettling," said Sally Jenkins. "He was just going crazy, slaughtering everybody." [Read more]

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Satire killed in suicide bomb attack

 

NEW YORK — The writing style of satire was blown up in a suicide attack at its home in the upper West side of Manhattan. Snark and Snide Disregard were also injured in the attack and are currently in intensive care.

Satire, which gained prominence via writers like Jonathan Swift and Voltaire, has struggled to find its footing recently in the Internet-driven world, as more and more satire is associated with mindless attacks, sophomoric humor and the oft-imitated “Breaking” news story. Satire reached a low point recently when the magazine “The New Yorker” hired Andy Borowitz, who then proceeded to write the exact same story 175 consecutive times. [Read more]

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N. Korea will kill you all … hello? Is anyone listening? Hello??

 

Over in North Korea, Kim Jong-Un has spent the better part of the month threatening to vaporize South Korea, the United States, and anyone else who wants a little vaporization. Now, generally, when a leader of a nation with nuclear capabilities makes wild, outlandish threats, the rest of the world pays attention, for reasons of vaporization avoidance. [Read more]

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U.S. bans drone program, entire planet follows lead

 

WASHINGTON - President Barack Obama banned the controversial drone program here today, and reaction to the move was swift, as every other country on the planet immediately announced they would do the same, even France, which has a well-earned reputation of being a pain in the ass on these types of matters.

The move to ban drones was met by complete bipartisan support in both the House and Senate, with even staunch defense supporters like warmongering angry white guy Sen. John McCain giving it a thumbs up. [Read more]

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12 GOP senators switch to communism after Obama buys them dinner

 

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama – in an attempt to ease tensions with Senate Republicans – bought a dozen GOP senators dinner last night, in what all have said was a pleasant evening. The dinner was held at the Jefferson Hotel, with Obama picking up the tab out of his own pocket. [Read more]

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Soccer player Robbie Rogers comes out – Like a fart in the ocean

My brother-in-law Marcelo struggled mightily coming out of the closet. While I and a handful of his closest friends and relatives knew he was Gay, he kept his true self hidden until he was 31. The combination of Brazilian culture and a male-dominated family made coming out seem impossible to Marcelo.

A little more than two years ago, he had enough. With the support of those of us who knew his secret, he came out to everyone. And for a man who had lived in pure terror of his true self being public, the end result was glorious. Marcelo was embraced as the man he is, and congratulated for having the courage to come out.

“It was like a fart in the ocean,” Marcelo said. [Read more]

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Come to Brazil, Sean Penn! Brazilian filmmaker with Down Syndrome makes pitch to Penn

 

Brazilian actor/filmmaker Ariel Goldemberg was born with two things – Down Syndrome and a love of cinema. The cinemaphile has finished his first movie, which combines these things – the critically acclaimed “Colega” – and is now after the finishing touch for his movie – to have his hero Sean Penn watch the movie with him. [Read more]

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