William K. Wolfrum's picture

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Website
http://www.williamkwolfrum.com
Biography
William K. Wolfrum is an American journalist and writer residing in Brazil. Wolfrum's experience's consist of being a bartender, bouncer, carny, amateur boxer and commercial fisherman, which he talks about all the time, thinking it makes him some sort of tough guy. Wolfrum has been published or mentioned in the New York Times, Boston Globe, Toronto Star, and a bunch of other newspapers and magazines. Wolfrum is a two-time Alaska Press Club Award winner who hopes to someday win other awards so he doesn't have to talk about those two anymore.

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4 years 11 months

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William K. Wolfrum's picture

Breaking: Edward Snowden leaks Naughty or Nice list

Rostov-on-Don, RUSSIA -- Leaker extraordinaire Edward Snowden unleashed his biggest coup to date, leaking Santa Claus' Naughty or Nice list on Christmas Eve.

"I just want us to have a discussion, is all," said Snowden. "Let's talk. I want to talk. We should talk." Claus, a shadowy figure known mostly by song, has long fought off civil liberties activists who say more transparency is needed in regard to the famed list.

"A debate, perhaps?" said Snowden. "A little tea time conversation, maybe?" I really wanna talk about this."

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Unemployed guy who doesn't care about his social media reputation says anything he wants

God celebrates the DNC folding over a non-issue. DES MOINES -- "Gay people are made of orange peels and frog legs," shouted William K. Wolfrum.

"Black people poop pumpkin pie!" Wolfrum added.

Wolfrum, who is unemployed, said he was practicing his First Amendment rights to say anything he likes.

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Aaron Hernandez: Did PEDs or head injuries play a part in the murder of Odin Lloyd?

As everything points to former New England Patriots' tight end  Aaron Hernandez being the person who murdered Odin Lloyd, one wonders if the media will eventually take a look at some factors regarding the case. Factors the NFL would not want investigated.

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Child, 9, murders more than 100,000 in video game

DULUTH - In a scene of overwhelming carnage, Bobby Jenkins, 9, brutally murdered more than 100,000 people, zombies, and other entities yesterday.

The slaughter began at 3:30 p.m. yesterday, when Sally Jenkins, mother of Bobby, allowed her son to play the video game "Slaughter Everything." After doing some bills, Sally Jenkins stumbled across the murder scene and immediately sent young Bobby to his room.

"It was really unsettling," said Sally Jenkins. "He was just going crazy, slaughtering everybody."

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Satire killed in suicide bomb attack

 

NEW YORK — The writing style of satire was blown up in a suicide attack at its home in the upper West side of Manhattan. Snark and Snide Disregard were also injured in the attack and are currently in intensive care.

Satire, which gained prominence via writers like Jonathan Swift and Voltaire, has struggled to find its footing recently in the Internet-driven world, as more and more satire is associated with mindless attacks, sophomoric humor and the oft-imitated “Breaking” news story. Satire reached a low point recently when the magazine “The New Yorker” hired Andy Borowitz, who then proceeded to write the exact same story 175 consecutive times.

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U.S. bans drone program, entire planet follows lead

 

WASHINGTON - President Barack Obama banned the controversial drone program here today, and reaction to the move was swift, as every other country on the planet immediately announced they would do the same, even France, which has a well-earned reputation of being a pain in the ass on these types of matters.

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