Maiello: Defeat the Press
Miami Fans Mistakenly Chant "Let's Go Eat" During Playoff Game
Each year around this time, I'm contacted by a small cadre of political bloggers looking to push something they call "Blogroll Amnesty Day." The idea behind this day is for big, important, A-List, nationally recognized bloggers like myself to give out links to small, unimportant, D-List, not-recognized-in-ther-own-home bloggers. [Read more]
WASHINGTON – After making campaign promises that they’d cut as much as $150 billion from the U.S. budget, Congressional Republicans could only come up with $32 billion in savings for the remainder of fiscal 2011, a move likely to anger their Tea Party base. However, deficit-hawk Paul Ryan, the Chairman of the House Budget Committee, insisted their work is not yet done.
“We’re just getting started,” Tweeted Ryan.
Ryan is set to announce that Congressional Republicans will shave another $378.68 from the 2011 budget by eliminating the GOP’s annual “Black History Month” party. [Read more]
Friends, we have been betrayed. A blogger whom you have long trusted to deliver information untainted by the slightest hint of conservative doctrine, a liberal's liberal, a progressive's progressive, a man so far to the left that he has been compared to Mao Tze-tung, Che Guevara, and Susan Sarandon, is working for the king of right-wing propaganda: Rupert Murdoch.
According to a reliable source, the dagblogger known to you as destor23 is a fake. Destor is not his real name. He does not have a flowing blond mullet and bulging muscles as advertised by his picture. His real name is Michael Maiello. Ric Flair, the blond goliath whose identity Maiello stole, could crush him like a saltine into his chicken soup. [Read more]
Then Why Is It Snowing, Mr. Gore?
The former Vice-President and climate change activist offers a number of responses to this most pressing question.
By your reckoning, the Earth is 6,000 years old. Give it time.
Because you keep voting for people who make sure that you can’t afford to retire some place tropical.
It snows on the righteous and the just and, well… you.
It’s not snow, it’s angel kisses. [Read more]
AMERICA – A Federal Court in Florida has struck down Capitalism, ruling that the requirement for individuals to live under any type of economic system is unconstitutional.
U.S. District Judge Roger Vinson in his judgment ruled that the so-called economic system known as capitalism exceeds congressional power.
“The Congress does not have the power to compel an individual to live under any economic system,” Vinson said. [Read more]
Having watched events unfold in Egypt this past week, I must say I am impressed by the bravery and strength of will shown by the Egyptian people. They are standing tall against a dictatorial regime, and that is to be applauded.
However, I am not quite certain yet if Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak should step down. Because, while I understand he runs a repressive regime with little to no care about basic human rights, this is not a black and white issue. There are many unanswered questions still, with the main one being - how does it affect me? [Read more]
First, let me thank the Undecided Voters who have asked me to give this rebuttal - which is like a speech thing I'm told and is important. Anyway, President Barack Obama's was talking last night was on a bunch of channels I'm told. I saw a little of it and thought his tie was kind of weird, but maybe it stood for something important like Barney. [Read more]
Before I start this blog post, let me make one thing absolutely clear - I do not, under any circumstance, advocate armed insurrection against the United States. That, my friends, is totally not my scene. [Read more]
TUPELO, MISS — Tim Johnson – a vital source to journalist and blogger William K. Wolfrum – has been declared missing after disappearing a week ago following a camping excursion. Johnson, 43, was last seen doing arm curls with a baby bear last Friday. His whereabouts are currently unknown.
Johnson has been a featured source in numerous blog posts by Wolfrum, including: [Read more]
VATICAN - Pope John Paul II will be beatified on May 1, after Vatican officials judged that the deceased pontiff's ability to make child molestation and sexual abuse charges seem like no big deal was officially a miracle.
"You'd think people would care that the Pope knew full well that Catholic priests who were molesting kids were protected," said Vatican spokesman Father Oliver O'Grady."Turns out, no one seems to care. It's a miracle!" [Read more]
SWEDEN - After a full decade of research, a team of Swedish scientists has confirmed that no matter how many guns a man owns, his penis will remain small and insignificant.
"Ve look at ze mens wit ze guns and ve look at ze penis of zeese mens," said Dr. Sven Svenenberg of the Svenlandia Institute. "Itz veery zad. Ze penis is so wee."
Those inside Sarah Palin's inner circle have come forward to admit the ex-Governor of Alaska was truly heartbroken over the recent massacre in Arizona.
"Sarah is destroyed." said a Palin Associate. "She had a new ad with her holding a hunting rifle to Obama's head. It's a great ad. And harmless. But now she just can't use it.
"And now that her show has been cancelled, we can't have someone drug up a caribou for her to shoot.," added the source. "These are dire times." [Read more]
It seems traditional to do top ten lists this time of year, but I was stumped until A-Man noted that blogs had ruts. So I want commenter lists of the top ten subject ruts, which will really be the bottom ten, least-covered, but important subjects.
I'm not a Christian, but like many Jews, I've envied Christmas since childhood. I like the twinkly lights, pink-cheeked carolers, heartwarming television specials, and exuberantly ho-ho-ho-ing Santa Clauses ... pretty much everything except the endless renditions of "Jingle Bells" warbling from every audio speaker in the country.
Most of all, I love the spirit of good will associated with Christmas -- smiles from strangers, charitable giving and other acts of kindness. We Jews have a holiday called Purim for spreading joy and charity, but Purim also involves raucously cheering the murder of 75,000 Persians, which is somewhat low on the good will meter.
In recent years, however, I've been dismayed that the Christmas spirit I admire has come under attack. Angry people have been exploiting the holiday as an opportunity to vilify their opponents. Vilifying opponents is also low on the good will meter, albeit not as low as murdering Persians.
Read the full story at CNN.com
NORTH POLE - Looking trim following lap-band surgery, Santa Claus held a press conference today to announce a fundamental change in his long-time tradition of giving toys to good children.
Intent on cutting costs as well as teaching ideological lessons, Claus, 43, said that the time was now for Americans to stop looking for handouts.
"If 'don't ask, don't tell' is repealed and you are assigned to bathroom facilities (that have)] an open bay shower that someone you believe to be a gay or lesbian service member also used, which are you most likely to do?"
-- Question on 2010 Department of Defense Comprehensive Review Survey of Uniformed Active Duty and Reserve Service Members
It seems that ensuring shower security for American soldiers and Marines is critical to maintaining our global military pre-eminence. If our brave men and women cannot comfortably bathe in environments free from the risk of homosexual lust, how can we expect them to battle armed Taliban insurgents and other enemies?
In order to assess the gay shower hazard and other threats to military readiness if the "don't ask, don't tell" policy were repealed, the Department of Defense surveyed American troops over the summer.
Adm. Mike Mullen, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, found the results reassuring. He told the Senate Armed Services Committee, "Repeal of the law will not prove an unacceptable risk to military readiness. ... I believe our troops and their families are ready for this," although he acknowledged, "some soldiers and Marines may want separate shower facilities."
Much has been said about Julian Assange and Wikileaks. The Australian-born hacker has put America in grave danger due to his publication of classified information that someone else stole.
And he must die.
Yes, my friends, Assange is yet another person that America must kill in order to be the country it needs to be – a country that murders any that upset it. And now, before you start thinking I’m a blood-thirsty maniac, please note that many upstanding patriots agree with me: [Read more]