Book of the Month

William K. Wolfrum's picture

William K. Wolfrum's Morning: You've Got the Touch

The TSA got the touch. They've got the power.

News/Politics

A Time of Cholera: When Cholera deaths explode in Haiti, no one will have been able to anticipate it. [Read more]

William K. Wolfrum's picture

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning: Wolfrum Alpha

It's multi-media me day.

Wolfrum's Word

Can't get enough of me, William K. Wolfrum? Well, trust me, I understand. So, to help you out, I'll be on Nicole Sandler's show today at around 10:20 a.m. EST Head over to Radio or Not an give a listen. [Read more]

William K. Wolfrum's picture

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning: Fiddle-dee-dee

 

Let the fiddling begin.

Wolfrum's Word

Congress is back! In other news, Fiddle companies announce they plan for record profits.

News/Politics

A Time of Cholera: Cholera Outbreak reaches Port au Prince. Death toll closing in on 1,000.   [Read more]

Doctor Cleveland's picture

International Jewish Conspiracy REVEALED!

Mike AKA Genghis's recent post on CNN.com has brought us a bunch of new anonymous commenters, who are very angry on Mr. Beck's behalf, and are generously warning us of the dangers of conspiratorial Jews such as Mr. Soros. We thank them for sharing their views. One new internet buddy speculates that Mike must be part of the Jewish conspiracy himself:

Wolraich must be Jewish also and he is trying to defend someone of his own faith right or wrong.  When a writer takes one side of a story and never shows even a slightly darker side of the subject you can take his work as biased hersay [Read more]

William K. Wolfrum's picture

Barack Obama preemptively shuts down Government to appease Republicans

WASHINGTON – Continuing his pattern of negotiating before being at the negotiating table, President Barack Obama shut down the Federal Government today.

“We must work together,” said Obama, on the 16th hole of Pebble Beach. “By shutting down the government right now, we’re showing Republicans that we are open to their suggestions.”

Having won control of the House, Republicans enter the new Congress confident and with one major agenda item – destroy Obama. Noted for his need to have Republicans like him, Obama used an obscure Constitutional law to shut down the federal government, as well as all state and local governments. [Read more]

William K. Wolfrum's picture

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning: Nothing Miner

Miners
Ok, two other Chilean miners died recently. But let’s focus on the positive.

Wolfrum’s Word

One day, a saved Chilean Miner will murder someone. And it will be the most life-affirming murder ever. [Read more]

William K. Wolfrum's picture

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning: Put your back into it

Ok, I'm back.

News/Politics

Obama in India: The President wheels and deals in India, as Right-wing remains unsure if India is an enemy state or not. Oh, and while he's there, First Lady Michelle Obama is showcasing the awesome ... [Read more]

William K. Wolfrum's picture

Anarchy, Death Nazis! Fox News gives up on 'Elitist' complete sentences

NEW YORK – “Anarchist, terrorist, commie, death!” said Glenn Beck.

“Obama 9/11 9/11 Muslim!! Nazi death Democrats!” shouted Sean Hannity.

While the above appear to be little more than random scare words thrown together, for Rupert Murdoch and Fox News, they institute a new pre-election strategy.

Starting this morning, Fox News personalities will use the final week prior to the mid-term elections to connect with their viewership on an entirely new level – by just using words that will get them fired up to vote. [Read more]

William K. Wolfrum's picture

William K. Wolfrum's Morning: Paul is dead

Paul octopus dead
Don’t be sad, Paul saw this coming.

News/Politics

Paul the Octopus: Famed psychic cephalopod is dead. Luckily, he’s also delicious.

Iran: Loading fuel into a nuclear reactor for the first time, Iran takes another step toward getting bombed. [Read more]

William K. Wolfrum's picture

William K. Wolfrum's Morning: Just a Hairy Guy


Love your hair.

Wolfrum’s Word

I’m starting to get a minor bald spot on the top of my head. This doesn’t really upset me, but I just thought you should know.

News/Politics

Shots Fired: Seems someone was shooting at the Pentagon. [Read more]

Michael Wolraich's picture

Chilean Miner Rescue Inspires Copycat Operations

As Chileans celebrated the sensational rescue of 33 trapped miners, other nations have looked on with envy at Chile's display of patriotic unity and national goodwill.

In several Latin American countries, unpopular leaders reportedly plan to divert their restive citizens by staging even more spectacular rescue operations. According to a government insider, President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner of Argentina has arranged to trap 60 miners for for 87 days in another Andes copper mine and then rescue them. Not to be outdone, President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva of Brazil reportedly plans to trap 75 miners for 94 days in an iron mine and then personally accompany them to the service in a specially designed presidential capsule nicknamed the Lula-Pod. [Read more]

William K. Wolfrum's picture

Romanians begin adopting American children

Nadia and Thad Comaneci looked at their child with the love the love of new parents. eyes of newborn parents. That he was 14 seemed to have no affect on them whatsoever. Timmy Johnson was their new son.

“Look at him. He always wants the hamburgers and the video games. He is so beautiful,” said Nadia Comaneci, of her newly adopted American son. “Always with the fuckaoofs.”

“Oh, Fuck off,” said Johnson.

The Comanecis are a new breed of Romanian – lower middle class, confident, and with an eye toward the greater good – who have been adopting American children at a record rate. The children generally range in ages from 4 to 16, as most Americans seem to enjoy their children more when they are babies. [Read more]

William K. Wolfrum's picture

William K. Wolfrum's Morning: Burn, Elmo!

Shortly after pulling this stunt, George W. Bush was elected President of America.

News/Politics

Chilean Miners: Free at last. [Read more]

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