Michael Wolraich's picture

    My Glorious "Resignation" Speech to the Impudent Mewling Nothings of the Blogosphere

    Dear readers, compatriots, and assorted morons,

    There have been rumors that I would bow to the outpouring of popular contempt by resigning my position as Administrator in Chief at dagblog.com, one of the most populous and strategic properties in the blogosphere. Those rumors are lies.

    I have faced public flaming several times in my illustrious career. I did not submit, nor yield to ad hominem attacks. I do not negotiate with trolls.

    Nonetheless, in order to create the appearance of respecting the popular will, I have decided to pretend to hand over some of my powers to my subordinate. He will now be able to edit the titles of news links. This is a small sacrifice on my part, since he is merely my pseudonym in any case.

    I have also decided to sack the megalomaniacal William K. Wolfrum, who has repeatedly infuriated readers by exposing them to doctored photos of himself dressed in lederhosen and other stupid costumes. This too is a small sacrifice, since Wolfrum already resigned this morning for personal reasons. And because he is also my pseudonym.

    In short, I, the great and powerful Genghis, will continue to administrate, you worthless peons. Go back home, and cease your interminable whining.


    Am I also your pseudonym? I need to figure out my role in the transition.

    Just go home. We'll keep you safe.

    Hey, I thought you were going to resign. Get out, get out!

    A grateful people turn their eyes to you, Genghis, with deepest thanks for having restored order and tranquility (and prosperity and justice at some point in the future, subject to negotiation) to the great dagblog nation.

    You, doctor, will be kept on during the transition period, in your role as physician. It is anticipated there will be many cracked heads to administer to.

    What a relief! I'm eager to serve.

    Of course, my medical knowledge comes primarily from the study of the English Renaissance, but have no fear. I have been carefully updating my astrological charts and I've got the leeches ready to go.

    Bring your charts, but the leeches are already in plentiful supply.

    You gonna finish that 'samich? Or can I haz it?

    My leech 'samich? Be my guest. Yuck, I don't know why Mom keeps packing those for me.

    Hmmm. Since I was leeching your 'samich ... does that make me a cannibal?

    No, it just makes you a lot more hungry than the rest of us.


    I accept.

    See.  This is the great danger with revolutionary change.  You never know who might try to step into the role of new leader.   You sir may have some repute among the great Northern herd of moose (meese, moosi,?), but blogmaster is another kettle of fish, a horse of a different color,  a bridge too far, an ice cream cone sans cone… (Oh god I’m starting to write like Dickday.)

    And you'll make an excellent Treasurer. 

    Now shut up and count the money.

    Can't keep up. I need to start taking notes.

    Only the military can save Dagblog now...

    I wave my shoe at you shouting "leave, leave, leave!"

    As one of founding members of the TPM Software Whiners' Club  Solidarity Movement, I suppose I should say something. But I got nothing. I'm beaten, submissive. Mewling and nothing, yes, impudent, no. Whatever you say, sahib.

    I thought that I told you people to go away. Why isn't anyone listening to me? I'm Genghis!

    No doubt you are needed to keep order on this site, and your past heroism in planting the dagger where it belongs is questioned by none.

    You do, however, need to put larger pictures of yourself all over this site!


    Sure is alot of sarcasm going on here.

    Hey, the post is labeled Humor & Satire. Just trying to keep Genghis honest. Not an easy task, you know.

    It's nice at home!

    I'm not cleaning up after you people.  Get that straight.

    Will the gov't keep sending us money?

    We won't have  Genghis to kick around any more!

    Actually we will since you've changed your mind. But, who knows, maybe you'll redecide to re-sign(re-resign?). ? .

    Oh, shut up, Genghis.  I'm busy ignoring Sarah Palin this week.

    You'll get your turn next week, okay?


    Where do ya find an icepick these days? Just askin'.

    "Heavy Handled" ice pick. Love it.

    Don't toy with me, people, or I'll tell my sock puppets to shut down this thread.

    Now we know two people whose hard drives will show a recent search for an ice pick, just in case we need someone to frame for something…

    That is just means.   What about motive? opportunity?  

    I cannot say whether or not Donal has those.   I know I don't.

    Oh, and are you absolutely sure your computer did not accept any third-party cookies when you opened this thread?

    Motive? Deposing a dicator.

    Opportunity? I'm pretty sure you're one of his sock puppets, so you're right there!


    Oh, and are you absolutely sure your computer did not accept any third-party cookies when you opened this thread?

    Cookies are for kids. Adults use Tor, while tunneling from FermiLab.

    Cool new toys!   Thanks.

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