Compare and contrast.

Louisiana Republican Sen. David Vitter (whose job it is to enact legislation): "I have a fundamental problem with any 1,000-page bills."

The Daily Show's Jon Stewart (whose job it is to make us laugh): "I've read the bill."

I was always under the impression that inbreeding was a bad idea. Not only is it creepy, but a diverse gene pool is desirable – at least that’s what I thought.  Until I read about the Italian town of Stoccareddo.  Just as a narrowed gene pool can increase the probability of a bad trait becoming overly prevalent, it can also do so for a good trait.

Obama is Literally Hitler

So should we call him Obitler? Hiltama? Seriously though folks, this is funny stuff.

www.savethewords.org

In Washington on Tuesday, Republican Minority Whip Eric Cantor announced that the GOP would hold a banquet in September to honor outstanding Americans for their contribution to public debate.

Said Cantor, “The President gets to hand out the Presidential Medal of Freedom to whoever he wants. Just this week, President Obama handed out the medal to two dead guys. Our award will have much stricter eligibility requirements.”

Inaugural award nominees include:

Oh, how I disdain the Ad Council and their stupid commercials. Just look at these. Few things boils my blood more than seeing our government piss away our tax dollars. Our hard earned capital is routinely spent on frivolous endeavors that benefit few while burdening the majority. While I think government spending in certain areas is absolutely necessary, spending money on stupid stuff is deplorable. An awesome example of horrible government spending is the Ad Council. While the organization itself is not a governmental agency, it accepts millions of dollars in public funds.

As devoted deadman blog readers with photographic memories know (a surprisingly slim sample size), I've never been a fan of being barefoot.

July 20, 2029

To celebrate the 60th anniversary of the first moon landing, NASA staged a high-tech reenactment of the event in Nevada National Landfill Park. The landing was delayed by several hours due to cloudy weather and space junk that disrupted satellite transmission of President George Prescott Bush's remote broadcast from Washington D.C. Officials finally commenced the mission without the President's address after impatient visitors began shouting and throwing landfill refuse, including vintage Pepsi bottles, plastic shopping bags, and other historic artifacts.

Lloyd Blankfein, CEO of Goldman Sachs, apologized today for his firm's strong earnings in 2009. In a press statement, he took responsibility for the profit and promised to lose money more aggressively for the remainder of the year.

The American Conservative Union (ACU), which proudly boasts of being "the nation's oldest conservative lobbying organization," proudly demanded $2M+ from FedEx in return for endorsing its position in a legislative dispute with UPS, stating, "We stand with FedEx in opposition to this legislation."

(IMPORTANT UPDATE: Full video - embedded below in the comments section - seems to exonerate the POTUS of his 'checking the goods' gaffe, tho not Sarkozy.)

So the media is all abuzz of this picture of Barack and French President Nicolas Sarkozy apparently checking out the rear end of a 16-year-old girl from Rio de Janeiro.

Hi everyone!!!!!!!  i wrote a letter to sarah palin on tues but she hasn't answered yet but i know that she will becuz she appreciates her grrrrlfriends!!!!! 

This is a web meme that has been around for a while, but seems to be getting more traction lately so it deserves some more pub.  I invite y'all to participate.

DEAR SARAH PALIN,

i am writing 2u becuz i have been reading lots of stuff from media dorks who hate u becuz ur beautiful and successful .

When Abram turned 99, God came to him and said, “'I am God Almighty. Walk before Me and be perfect.”

Commentary: Yessir, God definitely had a man-crush on Abram.

Abram complied by falling flat on his face. Then God promised several more times to give Abram many, many offspring until Abram was about ready to tell God to shut up about the offspring already.

But then God demanded a price for his largess: circumcision.

Commentary: A kinky man-crush.

BREAKING: Having issued a number of bellicose threats in recent weeks, the government of North Korea has run dangerously low on epithets and histrionic adjectives. Though North Korea is the world's leading producer of hyperbole, the prolific output of the government controlled Central News Agency has outstripped their supply. Analysts fear that without wrathful verbiage, North Korea will resort to military force and patriotic parades.