My friends, the United States of America is at a crossroads. These perilous times have seen a rise in racism, misogyny, and outrage. The union cannot survive this level of anger for much longer.

This why it is vital for White Males in America to begin a serious and mature discussion about these issues. We must be open and honest about issues of race and gender. It is up to us to help America regain harmony.

Are you feeling bored? Are your ratings lower than a Jerseylicious repeat? Do you try to please everyone but end up just pissing people off?

Well, maybe it’s time to ask your doctor about Wolf Blitzer.

Noted liar-for-Christ David Barton has been making the media rounds lately, pushing another book of blatant history revisionism. Having been a blogger for quite some time, I consider myself a leading expert on just about everything, especially Thomas Jefferson and the Founding Fathers.

As Mitt Romney begins his general election battle against President Barack Obama, intrepid reporters and pundits have stumbled across something about him that should terrify us all – Mitt Romney hates cookies.

Recently, in Pittsburgh, Romney insulted cookies from Bethel Bakery. This insult has reverberated across the nation. What kind of man hates cookies? I’ll tell you – an evil man.

While they were busy writing endless columns on such things as Obama’s manliness, whether or not Americans should wear jeans or whether or not Monica Lewinsky would bring down the nation, America’s famed band of “conservative intellectuals” failed to notice that the

I can't think of a time when I've ever agreed with Cal Thomas.  I confess I don't seek him out, but when I see him on an occasional Op-Ed page I'll read him just to see what he's going to say that's going to infuriate me.  I'm rarely disappointed.

So as he sat on a panel at this year's CPAC and said what he said about Rachel Maddow, I wasn't shocked.  He was at CPAC with his own peeps. It was cool.
 

When the whole SOPA/PIPA blackout was going on, most of us, like the sheeple we are, just grabbed something someone else did and closed up shop,  but The Oatmeal, like the creative peeple they are, got creative.  You can see it here.

Carlsberg Beer, like the creative peeple they are, (I didn't know that about Carlsberg, did you?) pulled a stunt involving tattooed bikers in a movie theater.  You can watch it here.

Yes, it's FRIDAY FOLLIES!  I know, it's been a while, and I keep getting requests to bring it back so here it is.  (Two requests so far, one of them a relative, but still. . .)  I have no explanation for why I've neglected it for so long.  I could say I just wasn't feeling it but that's so unprofessional.

I’m looking for reader input on whether and when I, William K. Wolfrum, should actually do work, or whether I should just look at porn all day.

One example mentioned recently by a reader: “Mr. Wolfrum, there have already been two GOP Primaries and several GOP Debates. You have written nary a word about these events. I wish you would stop spending your days looking at porn and instead try working for a change.”

(WKW Note: Following the death of Christopher Hitchens, many have spoken about his support for the Iraq War, as well as his Vanity Fair story on waterboarding. I wrote this piece on July 3, 2008 to express the conflict I felt over these two issues.)

This morning blogger John Aravosis, over at AMERICAblog, wrote about blogging vs. journalism after finding an article from AP about a ruling against a Montana blogger who claimed protections as a journalist while fighting a defamation suit brought by a lawyer she called "a thug and a thief".

Twenty years ago I got my first teaching job, as one of two young English teachers hired by a little high school in greater Boston. The other new teacher was a guy named Kevin Hogan. Kevin was already a much better teacher than I was, assured while I was struggling, deft where I was stumbling, natural in the classroom in a way I wouldn't be until years later. The kids loved him. I liked and admired him.

I'm not one to laugh at the plight of others, especially at elderly ladies whose family makes a request for meals on wheels, and I'm certainly not going to do it now, but can I at least laugh at the picture in my mind of people delivering those charity meals to limousines that will then whisk them off to a millionaire's mansion?

Last weekend, Hollywood released Anonymous, a costume drama whose promotional materials ask "Was Shakespeare a Fraud?" They're not really asking the question; the movie clearly promotes the argument that it was "really" Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford, who wrote the plays.

Some of you smart people still mangle the apostrophe S business:

It's vs Its

Only use it's if you can also substitute it is in the same place:

It's Howdy Doody Time! = It is Howdy Doody Time!

I think it's clear that the economy stinks. = I think it is clear that the economy stinks.

The party is its own worst enemy. ≠ The party is it is worst enemy.

The kitteh purred whilst licking its fur. ≠ The kitteh purred whilst licking it is fur.

For her CNN "Out Front" debut on Monday, Erin Burnett went to the Occupy Wall Street protesters to see for her corporate-shilling self what the heck all the fuss was about.  She couldn't find a single person who knew why they were protesting.  Imagine that.
 

WARNING:  Hot graven images ahead.  Turn back if you believe Jesus' image on toast should remain a miracle and not be used as a promotion by clever, sacrilegious Vermonters for a Made in China toaster.  (It's International Blasphemy Rights Day today but I swear I didn't know that when I chose this segment.  Not that I'm not okay with it.  I am.)

I can't believe it's not butter!  In Wisconsin there is a law on the books that forbids restaurants, schools, hospitals and prisons from serving margarine instead of butter.  This weaker version of a 1897 law has been on the dairy state's books for 44 years but most restaurants can get around it, since the interpretation of the law these days is that if a customer asks for margarine it's okay to give it to them.  No mention of how the margarine is delivered to table -- in plain sight or disguised as something else.  (The bovine version of "Don't ask

 I swear, the weirdest thing going last week was the Tea Party debate hosted by Ted Turner's brainchild gone wild.  (When I heard that the once-venerable CNN was going to give free air-time and thus a large dose of credibility to yet another crazy bunch hell-bent on taking back every single right and privilege afforded us by hundreds of years worth of struggle by our more forward-thinking ancestors, this is what I said out loud:  "Waaaaaahhhhhtt??"  (Mo