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Oprah Winfrey kills three, injures 21

While I find it difficult to dislike Oprah Winfrey overall, her love of pseudoscience has often grated and seemed dangerous. And now, Oprah’s love of pseudoscience has killed three people and left nearly two dozen others needing serious medical help. And that’s a little more serious.

Self-help expert and author James Arthur Ray had rented the Angel Valley Retreat Center for his five-day “Spiritual Warrior” event that culminated in a sweat lodge ceremony.

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William K. Wolfrum's picture

Patriots! Enter the Militia Members' Music Contest and Get Rocked!

Militia men get rocked

Are you a patriotic militia member that’s fighting Barack Obama’s illegal communist regime that’s forcing the U.S. into a tyrannical New World Order that will enslave us all? Are you in a band?

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Everything bought since 2001 recalled; everyone's personal data lost

WASHINGTON — In a press conference by the nation’s business leaders and a smattering of government officials, it was announced that everything bought over the past seven years has been immediately recalled, and that all personal information held by all businesses had been lost.

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Timmy Johnson, 4, named COO of SEC enforcement division

TUPELO, Miss. — It was a day of happiness at the Johnson household today, as youngest son Timmy, 4, was named chief operating officer of the SEC enforcement division.

“We always knew Timmy would do great things,” said his mother, Sandra Johnson. “He’s always been really good with numbers.”

William K. Wolfrum's picture

Out-of-control Weather Balloon flies across nation - GOP claims their Health Insurance Reform plans are inside

FORT COLLINS, Colo. — A homemade helium weather balloon got loose from the Republican National Committee headquarters today, leading authorities on a cross-country chase after Republicans insisted that their plans for health care reform were on board.

“All of our plans, like tort reform, just took off and flew away,” said RNC Chairman Michael Steele. “I don’t know how they got in there, but our plans are now up in the air. Including tort reform.”

William K. Wolfrum's picture

I denounce “Liberal” Martin Eisenstadt and his new book!

Throughout my long and inglorious writing career, I have always held true to the concept that money, fame, and recognition was always secondary. Good work has always been its own reward. These words I have lived by. But no more.

William K. Wolfrum's picture

Oklahoma law to hold men accountable for sperm "holocaust"

OKLAHOMA CITY - A new law set to come into effect on Nov. 1, will require all men in Oklahoma to reveal personal details regarding every sperm that they murder.

“Every year in Oklahoma, a googolplex of sperm die lonely deaths inside socks, in showers and other places,” said Oklahoma spokeswoman Sally Kern. “This holocaust of the unborn must end.”

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Barack Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize - Conservatives explode like Agent Smith at the end of Matrix

UNITED STATES - In a stunning announcement today, U.S. President Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his diplomatic efforts. Immediately following the announcements, Conservatives throughout the United States lost cohesion and exploded, much like the Agent Smith character did at the end of the Matrix.

“I was sitting next to Jonah Goldberg and Bill Kristol having breakfast,” said an unnamed source. “We heard the news and I looked over to them and all I saw were pixels floating into space.”

William K. Wolfrum's picture

To save America, Levi Johnston must reveal his wang

My friends, never before in my lifetime have I witnessed an America so divided. Republicans fighting Democrats. Libertarians fighting environmentalists. Whigs not fighting anyone but just happy to be mentioned.

This is why President Barack Obama comes under such criticism. He was elected under the false hope that he’d invite the economy over for a beer and have it leave a bull market behind. But Obama does not have all the answers, nor the ability to turn thing around. In fact, no man has the ability to turn this great nation around. Except one. Levi Johnston.

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http://www.williamkwolfrum.com
Biography
William K. Wolfrum is an American journalist and writer residing in Brazil. Wolfrum's experience's consist of being a bartender, bouncer, carny, amateur boxer and commercial fisherman, which he talks about all the time, thinking it makes him some sort of tough guy. Wolfrum has been published or mentioned in the New York Times, Boston Globe, Toronto Star, and a bunch of other newspapers and magazines. Wolfrum is a two-time Alaska Press Club Award winner who hopes to someday win other awards so he doesn't have to talk about those two anymore.

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