Maiello: Where Your Tax Dollars Go
Doc Cleveland: Copyright vs. Truth
It's two days after Tuesday.
They just keep coming. [Read more]
MINNESOTA – A wayward elf that froze to death in the snow last December has challenged the entire GOP Presidential Field to a debate on the U.S. Constitution, sources close to the Dead Elf say.
“He’s pretty confident. Or IT is pretty confident,” said the source. "I’m really not sure how to refer to an Elf corpse.”
The challenge comes after literally two consecutive years of Republican Presidential hopefuls butchering the Constitution in order to make it appear it agrees with their often-outlandish views. The most recent come from Pizza Guru Herman Cain, who confused the Declaration of Independence with the Constitution, while admonishing his fan base for not actually reading the Constitution.
SALT LAKE CITY – The Rapture came and went three weeks ago, say researchers at Brigham Young University. The entire episode took five hours and 45 minutes, and few if any took notice.
“Yeah, Christ was here, he looked around, played a round of golf at Pebble Beach and split,” said one researcher. “It’s a little disappointing really. We expected serious fireworks.”
Many Christians have long believed that the Rapture would include the “vanishing” of millions of loyal Christians around the globe, leaving the rest of the world’s population to die in hellfire. The return of Jesus was supposed to usher in high times for loyal Christians as the doors of heaven would open for them. [Read more]
You only have a couple days left. Make them count. [Read more]
ROME (April 28, 1) — Emperor Tiberius Caesar Augustus has announced there will be no investigations into the purported torture and crucifixion of convicted heretic and enemy of the state Jesus Christ. In a statement from the Emperor’s office, Tiberius stated that Christ’s crucifixion did not meet the empire’s definition of torture, and that it was time for Roman’s to begin focusing on the future. [Read more]
The Endeavor's final launch.
HEAVEN – Following a staggering donation to the Heaven Fund, the Koch Brothers will now have final say on who gets Raptured. sources tell this reporter.
David and Charles Koch – who combined are worth $43.5 billion – recently made headlines when it was learned that they had essentially taken control of the economics departments of such public colleges as Florida State University. In the FSU case, the Koch Brothers donated $1.5 million to the economics department, but with the caveat that the money could be taken away should the brothers disagree with any new hires.
By law, all bloggers have to post some version of this song today.
There was nothing to the Common story. [Read more]
Over the course of the day, I've come across three stories from major media outlets that shared two things in common. First, all three stories were trivial. Second, all three of these trivial stories were based on comments from anonymous sources.
First up, Derek Thompson at the Atlantic:
GOP Aide: Republicans Not 'Intellectually Honest' on Taxes
"But a senior GOP aid I spoke with, who asked that his name be withheld to speak freely, said the Republicans' no-tax-increase stance wasn't "intellectually honest" in the real world." [Read more]
Thanks for all the fish, Douglas.
If you need more proof that Libertarianism is an ideology of the soul-less, let John Stossel finish the deal:
After my FBN show last week, where I let critics of my FREELOADERS show talk back, I got this e-mail:
Dear Mr. Stossel,
I am a veteran who is rated and compensated as 100% disabled.
Do you, and Libertarians in general view me as a “freeloader;” and should I not be compensated according to your views of this situation?
Like your show, and I am truly curious. While I register as a Democrat, I’m probably a Libertarian at heart.
I responded: [Read more]
You don't need no education.
Coming from a conservative upbringing, I have long held strong beliefs about marriage and the commitment that comes with eventually destroying said marriage. So when I married more than seven years ago, I set out on a path to make mine the most traditional marriage and divorce as possible. As my marriage has evolved, I have followed conservative principles as best as I could so I could have the type of marriage that emulated those of American heroes John McCain, Ronald Reagan and Rudy Giuliani. [Read more]
Let's crank this back up, shall we?