When it was announced that President Barack Obama and super-hunk hottie Senator-elect Scott Brown were 10th cousins, I was as amazed as anyone. They look so different, after all. And their politics are different. It’s freaking mind-blowing stuff, if you ask me.

During the Superbowl, Focus on the Family, James Dobson’s group, will run a commercial spot featuring Tim Tebow’s family. Family lore has it that in the late 1980’s, while pregnant and living in the Philippines, Tebow’s mother became ill with amoebic dysentery and doctors there recommended that she abort the pregnancy because they said the medication she took to recover from the illness would cause damage to the fetus.

WASHINGTON – Following President Barack Obama’s State of the Union Address and open-forum question-and-answer session with House Republicans, the GOP has announced a new plan to deal with they call “Obama Policy Nonsense.”

Our cousins across the pond took former Prime Minister Tony Blair to task yesterday during an Iraq War Inquiry. Not to be out done, the Obama Administration has announced it is ready to do its own investigation – of the Bowl Championship Series.

From ESPN:

WASHINGTON – At a special press conference today, media heroes Sen. John McCain and Republican leader Newt Gingrich said that former Presidential candidate John Edwards is an adulterous lowlife that has no business being in politics.

The media's focus on Justice Samuel Alito's head shaking dissent during President Obama's State of the Union address has overshadowed many other breaches of decorum from both sides of the aisle. State of the Union expert Dr. Isabel Strong called the reaction to Obama's speech "the most indecorous since President William Henry Harrison's infamous 'the state of the union is phlegmatic' speech of 1843."

Now that President Obama's approval ratings are slipping, and the good people of Massachusetts have voted in their first Republican senator in almost forty years, it's time to get real about politics in this country. It's time to take leadership into our own hands.

Brother, I know what you are thinking: "how am I supposed to feed my horse and my wife the next winter when the government wants to spend my money on health care and education?" This is a difficult question, one that needs an easy answer.

My friends, the United States is at a difficult place in its history. More difficult than the Civil War when brother fought brother. More difficult than the Great Depression and its 25 percent unemployment. More difficult than the turbulent 1960s with its hippies, communists and rash of assassinations. More difficult than the years we were tortured with the knowledge that Bill Clinton received oral sex. Ok, maybe not that difficult, but I’m on a roll so bear with me.

Before the State of the Union address, I'd like to talk about the central issue of the Obama Presidency, which of course none of the talking heads will really get to. Obama's Presidency will hinge on how he handles the economy. More even than the wars, more than health care, more than the political sclerosis of the Senate, it's the economy. The bad news about that?

Barack Obama hasn't thought about the economy.

The Tea Party, a potent collection of dyspeptic right-wing populist groups, was on the verge of national conquest. Having defeated a Republican candidate in a New York House election and a Democratic candidate in the Massachusetts Senate election, it seemed that there was no stopping this crew of tax-rejecting, socialist-hating, health-care-not-wanting defenders of the Constitution and all that is good in America.

Just kidding.

Overturning decades of case law, the Roberts court has now declared that corporations are human beings, at least in the political arena. The majority ignored precedent, opting instead to side with the wealthy and powerful against the individual citizens of a democracy. Can you hear the outrage of the neo-populist conservatives? Yeah, me neither.

"Hi, you’ve reached the White House. We’re on furlough today, so please leave a name and number and we promise to get right back to you."

WASHINGTON – Determined to show the world that they’re serious about saving money, today the Obama Administration unleashed dual proposals. The first is to freeze government spending in 2012 and 2013. The second is to furlough all Federal Government employees on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

WASHINGTON – Convinced that Max Baucus is still the key to his Presidency, President Barack Obama will forego his role in upcoming State of the Union Address, instead allowing the Senator from Montana give it.

2009 was a frustrating year for liberals and progressives, and 2010 is off to a bad start. After electing the first unapologetically liberal President of the United States in forty years, with large majorities in both the House and Senate, liberals have seen our agenda diluted, stalled, and now seriously set back. It shouldn't have happened. And now, of course, there is rage and confusion and we are circling into our old firing squad. But as I see it, there are only three questions, and they all have simple answers.

Looking to capitalize quickly on the Supreme Court Ruling that allows corporations unlimited financial involvement in elections, McDonalds Corp. has announced it will soon begin a new contest called “You Pick the President.”

WASHINGTON – The White House and Congressional Democrats – aware of building anger in their base – have announced they plan to go forward with a modified Health Care Reform Bill that they feel will certainly make its way to President Barack Obama’s desk.

WASHINGTON – Senate Democrats, chastened by Republican Scott Brown’s Senate victory in Massachusetts, have admitted that they have learned a valuable lesson after seeing their advantage in the senate drop to a paltry 59-41. The lesson? Stop trying to do things.

“This is a wake-up call,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.). “It’s time to slam on the brakes and stop everything. The people have spoken.”

In perhaps the worst decision of all time, the Supreme Court overturned spending limits on campaign contributions from corporations.

The court's 5-4 vote ends a 20-year ban on businesses using money from their own funds to pay for campaign ads.

But US President Barack Obama condemned the decision, pledging to work with Congress for a "forceful response".

Forceful response, huh? I’m not holding my breath.

It must be difficult for the GOP these days. On one hand, they want to continue to appeal to Bible-thumping, teabagging, gun-toting bigots, but on the other, they also want to extend their congregation beyond the high school drop-outs and the plantation owners. This level of re-branding is hard enough to do without the family of one of their most recognizable Senators breaking ranks with the party on one of their core issues.