William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Confusing Blogger Vows to Quit Using Emoticons in 2010

    BRAZIL – Blogger William K. Wolfrum today vowed to cease using emoticons on the Internet, in any way, ever again.

    “If feel that they had become an intruder into my soul,“ said Wolfrum, who also vowed to act more “High-Fallutin’“ in 2009. “In real life, I wink maybe twice a year. This is out of hand.’’

    Many critics have come forward to complain about Wolfrum`s decision, claiming he is often to self-important and vague in a lot of his satire.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Internet’s Top-3 Commenters in Nation announced by Prestigious Blog

    When I started my blog, it was because of my burning desire to affect change on a world troubled on a wide variety of fronts. Or it was because I had too much time on my hands and needed amusement. One of those.

    But something strange happened – no one came. For about a few year, I`d celebrate on days where I had 15 hits, even if 14 of them were me, logging on to different computers around the city so I could click my own Google Ads.

    Larry Jankens's picture

    MNFW: Judgement Edition

    It's been a while since I posted on Dagblog.  I'm not going to apologize for my absence or explain why, I just wanted to point it out.  Anyway, welcome to another exciting edition of My New Favorite Websites (MNFW): the judgement edition. Join me in relishing these two websites that help you look down upon other people - it's fun!

    The People of Walmart

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Tiger Woods SEO Tip

    Here`s the tip? Just mention Tiger Woods. And Elin. And Affairs. Toss in a helping of steroids, and Britney Spears (because you`re a rebel), and you`re in the money. It`s a new Tiger world we live in. Maybe we can pray it away.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Barack Obama wishes all Americans a “New Year”

    WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama today officially wished all Americans a “New Year,” breaking with the tradition of U.S. Presidents wishing U.S. citizens a “Happy New Year.”

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    U.S. Officials: "Happy New Year" greetings likely originated in Yemen

    ITALY - Blogger William K. Wolfrum today sent Happy New Years greetings to all his friends, family and readers. Upon hearing this news, U.S. officials quickly surmised that the greeting likely originated in Yemen.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Overstalk.com CEO Patrick Byrne unveils new tool for curious investors

    Tired of not being able to know the secrets of those you obsess over? Want a closer look at those that have something you think can help divert attention from the awful truth?

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    BREAKING: God Apologizes for Failure to Disrupt Senate Health Care Vote

    God issued an unusual apology on Monday for failing to stop Senate Democrats from cutting off a Republican filibuster of the health care bill. In a brief press statement, God acknowledged underestimating Democrats' resolve and promised a thorough review His divine intercession policies.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Overstock.com 'Spy' Larry Bergman & Hoax Martin Eisenstadt accused of illicit ‘Tater-Totting’ affair

    ITALY – In a land known for sordid romances, the latest romantic drama has people around the globe transfixed, as two great mythical characters have been linked together by noted blogger William K. Wolfrum.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Senator Orrin Hatch and the Eight Nights of Hanukkah

    Orrin Hatch--Utah's longest serving senator in history, former presidential candidate, proud member of the Finance Committee, the subcommittees on Energy, Natural Resources, and Infrastructure and Taxation and IRS Oversight, the Select Committee on Intelligence, the Committee on the Judiciary, and the Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee, as well as the Joint Committee on Taxation--can now add another feather to his well-befeathered hat: Hanukkah lyricist.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Boy, 8, pays bully to protect him - shocked when Bully turns on him

    TUPELO, Miss. - Little Timmy Johnson, 8, had been having trouble with bullies at his new school in Tupelo, Miss. Having moved with his family to Mississippi several months earlier, Johnson was treated disrespectfully by long-time students of Rumsfeld Grammar School.

    “Every day he’d show up with a black eye or with his lunch money stolen,” said Sally Johnson, Timmy’s mother. “We tried to get him to defend himself, but he was just overwhelmed by opposing forces that hated him for differing reasons.”

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Santa Claus cancels Christmas due to poor investments - Elves still to receive massive bonuses

    NORTH POLE - In an announcement many had feared, Santa Claus announced that he would be sitting out Christmas 2009 due to massive inventory problems. The cancellation will include all children, regardless of naughtiness or niceness.

    “We have profit margins to deal with here, and this year has been just awful for us,” said Claus, who in 2006 moved his major toy making factories from the North Pole to the Mariana Islands. “We’ve always been bold at Santa Claus Industries (SCI), and this year it just didn’t work out.”

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Sarah Palin hires Witch Doctor to remove Demons from Tiger Woods so we can all talk about Sarah Palin some more

    LA LA LAND - Former Alaska Governor and current multi-millionaire Sarah Palin, noting that she has received less attention in the past few days due to the scandals surrounding Tiger Woods, has announced that she will be hiring Kenyan Pastor Thomas Muthee - her personal witch doctor - to remove the demonic spirits from Woods.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Barack Obama named Ultimate Fighter Season 10 Champion - Obama vs. Kimbo Slice bout in the works

    LAS VEGAS - In a shocking move by Ultimate Fighting Championship owner Dana White, President Barack Obama has been named the winner of Ultimate Fighter season 10, replacing Roy Nelson as this season’s winner.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    You can’t spell “Halliburton Professional” without “Rape”

    Today, the job market is in turmoil. Hard-working, clean-living Americans are finding themselves out of work and on unemployment lines. Families are suffering. Life is more of a struggle then ever.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Tiger Woods to do photo shoot for Playgirl

    SIMI VALLEY - Celebrated golfer Tiger Woods - in the midst of his biggest personal crisis - has announced that he will do a full photo shoot for Playgirl Magazine’s Christmas issue.

    “Tiger’s aware that he’s let down many of his fans recently,” said a spokeman for Woods. “We believe this photo shoot will remind people of just how impressive Tiger really is.”

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    America: Land of the Free, home of the Penis-Gazers

    For more than 30 years, Americans of all sizes, shapes and colors admired Tiger Woods and his golf game. Now, when the name Tiger Woods is mentioned, you can only think of one thing - his Penis.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Breaking: Democrats Diane Feinstein, Dick Durbin once shot a guy in Reno - Media shield rules apply

    WASHINGTON - Journalist William K. Wolfrum has uncovered his latest blockbuster, as he says he now has proof that U.S. Senators Diane Feinstein and Dick Durbin once shot a homeless guy in Reno.

    Wolfrum had admitted to sitting on the story for various reasons, but admitted that possible changes in the media shield law made him feel that now was the right time to come forward.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Minn. woman sees Michele Bachmann manifest on bottom of iron

    MINNESOTA - Putting away laundry was the last place a Minnesota woman thought she’d have a spiritual moment. But there it was: an image she saw as a manifestation of Michele Bachman on the bottom of her iron.

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