In a unanimous resolution, the United Nations declared the Afghan presidential election to be "credible" and "legitimate" despite widespread fraud allegations and the withdrawal of President Karzai's opponent, Abdullah Abdullah. In a separate unanimous resolution, the U.N. declared Pope Benedict XVI to be "Jewish" and "possibly Buddhist" despite his Catholic baptism, confirmation, papal election, and long history of pro-Jesus sentiment.

Having spent more time lately in the U.S., one thing has become abundantly clear - Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi is the nastiest beverage ever created. If ever there was a product that proved that American ingenuity is dead, it's Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi.

(With today's GOP, I feel like this post - originally posted Sept. 2008 - never stops being topical.)

“My friends, I have always been open about my religious beliefs because I firmly adhere to the concept that what makes this nation great is freedom of religion. Whether you are a Scientologist, Mormon, Satanist, Christian, Muslim or Jew, you have the right to worship as you deem fit.

Levi Johnston has some deep tweets.  Below is just a small collection of his tweets.  If you have not already, you need to follow him.

KABUL - Proud citizens stood outside the home of Hamid Karzai this morning, cheering the re-election of the Afghanistan President after Afghan officials canceled Saturday’s run-off presidential vote following the withdrawal from the race of the last challenger, Abdullah Abdullah.

HOLLYWOOD - Ex-Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin took to her Facebook page again today, this time to refute allegations made by 5-year-old Timmy Johnson of Tupelo, Miss., who had made harsh comments about Palin yesterday.

“Timmy Johnson is an embarrassment to 5-year-olds everywhere,” wrote Palin. “He is an ignorant, selfish attention whore.”

Growing up in this great nation of ours, I was taught to have great pride in the freedoms America has bestowed upon its citizens. I learned of the brave Americans who heroically fought to acquire these freedoms, and today I still swell with pride thinking of the Americans that made the ultimate sacrifice to assure that all American citizens would live in the “Land of the Free.”

When Joseph Hazelwood drunkenly plowed the Exxon Valdez into the rocks in Alaska, spilling millions of gallons of oil and obliterating millions of animals, the nation wept. Being in Alaska at that time, however, I agreed with many Alaskans that it was a blessing in disguise.

At the United Nations recently, the Obama Administration joined Egypt in presenting a non-binding resolution to in the U.N. Human Rights Council to protect the freedoms of peoples around the world.

“When we say ‘throwing his hat in the ring’ we mean that figuratively, of course,” said Reagan campaign manager William Casey, who himself died in 1986. “No one can fit in Regan’s shoes, not even Ronnie, because of decay, but he really comes the closest.”

Luckily my parents are luddites so I dont' have to worry about this.  Friend me on face book before your mom does:  Larry Jankens

Today on his radio show, Rush Limbaugh praised the new book by Martin Eisenstadt, “I Am Martin Eisenstadt: One Man’s (Wildly Inappropriate) Adventures with the Last Republicans.”

Limbaugh spoke for more than an hour about the book, giving it extremely high praise.

“This Eisenstadt, he has written the best book on politics I’ve ever read,” said Limbaugh. “This book is way, way better than the Bible. You can quote me, Rush Limbaugh, on that.”

NEW YORK - Showcasing once again that she’s an ideological maverick, Alaska ex-governor Sarah Palin has announced that she is throwing her support behind surprise candidate Leviticus in in a special U.S. House election in Upstate New York. Leviticus will be competing for the seat against Assemblywoman Dede Scozzafava.

As the world’s foremost expert on Martin Eisenstadt, I’ve done quite a bit of snooping around to learn more about his upcoming book, “One Man’s Wildly Inapproriate Adventures with the Last Republicans.”

Now, first of all, the title of the book is much better than what it was originally: “One Man’s Barely Legal Adventures with the Last Republicans” (seriously).

Overstock CEO Patrick Byrne has been spending a lot of time on the Fox Business Network. A couple days ago, Byrne was on FBN’s Happy Hour, refusing to disclose that his company is being investigated by the SEC. But a few days before that, Byrne was on FBN’s “Scoreboard,” where host David Asman gushingly referred to Byrne as a “Swashbuckling Captain of Capitalism.”

HOLLYWOOD - Star Celebrity Noteworthy Savvy Handsome Journalist Jake Tapper today defended Druidism from any that would attack the ancient mythology.

William K. Wolfrum released this statement to his supporters at 3 p.m.

"Having seen the love and admiration pouring from Conservative circles following Newt Gingrich's conversion to Catholicism, I feel it is time for me to come forward with an admission - I am a Catholic. And I always have been.